It’s the finale!!!! NOOOOOO! I can’t stay without Riverdale for 5 months!!!
THIS IS TORTURE!
I’ll still be writing about it and posting about all the crazy shit that happened this season because it was A LOT.
But we’re here. We’ve finally got to the ending. And shit is about to go down.
And shit DID go down.
Disclaimer: I am not a pundit or a fortune-teller. I am not in the Riverdale Writers Room. I am not into predictions. So I won’t stand here and talk about what could possibly happen in season 4, a season they haven’t already written. So chill, people.
There is so much to unpack here so I’ll do this a little bit differently.
Ok, so Chic is the Gargoyle King, Hal is still the Blackhood and Penelope Blossom was the mastermind behind everything.
And Evelyn called Edgar “Dad” while nobody was there. BITCH, YOU ARE MARRIED TO HIM.
WHAT IS THIS SHOW!?!
I was not that shocked that it was Chic. Everybody had been saying it could possibly be the real Jason. We saw his dead body. Sure, the casket is empty but I’ll get back to it.
And that weirdo Penelope was calling him Jason! And Dagwood Jason Jr. SURE. SURE. OK. Oh and the weird nun is back.
So the Red Dahlia sends the Core 4 an invitation and she “buys” Betty from Edgar, who was about to murder her.
HOW CAN I WRITE THIS IN A SERIOUS TONE?!
Anyway, Lili Reinhart looked incredibly beautiful in that dress. Absolutely stunning.
I have to say, at least this time the reveal was GREAT. We all been knew it was Chic but they didn’t drag the mystery for two episodes like they did in season 2.
At the Farm, they are planning to ascend. Cool.
I liked the quests. I laughed real hard at Archie’s. When he mentioned the bear I screamed of joy. For a second I was hoping he’d be fighting another wild animal. The bear thing remains by favourite unnecessary point in the plot. And when he said: “Oh crap. Not again.”, I lost it. Completely lost it.
And Veronica’s was extremely emotional. Even though they haven’t shown their friendship that much this season, Betty and Veronica still love each other a lot.
Jughead’s face when she said: “I volunteer.” was everything. He is so worried about her. Awwwww
Alice kind of seems to be done with the Farm. She takes Juniper, gives her to Cheryl and helps her escape, making per promise to take care of the baby and Betty.
Nana Rose apparently knows everything.
This made me mad. WHY DIDN’T SHE SAY SOMETHING BEFORE?!
It’s time for Jughead’s quest: fight Chic.
TONI AND CHERYL ARE REUNITED!!!
But let’s go back to the woods. It’s Betty’s turn.
“I will NEVER be like you, Dad.”
Penelope’s serial killer line
But the Serpents and the Poisons save them and they scare off the Gargoyle and they all go to the Farm.
Everybody has ascended except for Kevin. SERVES YOU RIGHT FOR BEING A DICK.
To sump up:
- HAL – dead
- CHIC – in prison
- PENELOPE – escaped
- ALICE, POLLY AND THE FARMIES – “ascended”
- CHERYL – talks to Jason’s corpse (whose mouth has seen sawn shut) and she needs therapy.
- HERMIONE -get thrown into jail by Hiram.
- DADDY – his life in prison seems great. He’s evil laughing and plotting against his daughter
- ALL THE OTHER PARENTS – unknown (Like, where are Tom and Sierra?)
- SMITHERS – Veronica’s legal guardian.
BUT SECOND TO LAST PLOT TWIST: The FBI is here!
Betty’s “WHAT WERE YOU WAITING FOR?” is literally every sigle one of us.
Aaaaaaand it’s FP and Alice’s son. Charles Smith. Betty’s brother… and Jughead’s brother.
Just saying but where is FP in all of this?! Does he know about him? Like… WHAT THE FUCK?
And now I think I have to go back and listen to everything Alice has ever said to Betty. Like a couple of episodes ago, she said she was talking to Charles. WHICH WAS TRUE.
Apparently, Alice has been working with the Feds and they knew about the organ harvesting. But he did recognize them as a great detective duo. BUGHEAD INVESTIGATIONS is official.
And now the flash forward. I won’t talk about it because I’m too angry. The “We’ll go our separate ways” made me so fucking mad. But like I said at the beginning of this post, it’s just baiting.
Mary is way to invested in Archie’s personal life. She’s his mother. Sure. But last week she said he and Veronica were endgame, now she’s pushing him to go back with her. COULD YOU BE MORE INTRUSIVE?!
I couldn’t resist, this was too funny
Archie: “Wait. I still don’t get it.” – WE DIDN’T HAVE ANY DOUBTS, YOU IDIOT. YOU NEVER GET IT.
Also, how is Jason not almost decomposed? It’s been what?… 2 years?
And the lovely Danielle here on WordPress made me realize that Charles is Young Hitchcock from Brooklyn99!!! I am so mad at myself for not having figured it out. Anyway, thanks girl! You blew my mind!
Anyway, season 3 is over. Done.
Thanks for reading my rants!
Riverdale will be back in October. That being said, don’t worry! There’s Comic-Con, previews and interviews. There will always be some content. Even here, on my blog!
Weekly reviews might be over but I have a lot of thoughts about this season and rewatch must be done.
Do you have any particular things you’d like me to talk about? Or issues you’d like to bring up?
Also, don’t forget to leave me a comment! Let’s talk about this episode!