Sometimes Change Isn’t For The Better

I got a haircut today.

And it didn’t go as planned.

I wanted it shortened and with long bangs so that there is a little movement and volume. Instead the hairdresser cut them too short and now it looks like I had a fringe and I’m trying to grow them out.

It’s not terrible… I kind of like it. It’s the way she curled it that I don’t really like.

Anyway, you can all imagine what my family had to say about it.

My mom came in saying: “Oh my God what is that? What did you do with your hair?”

My sister said nothing.

My aunt gave a consiscending smile and said: “Wow, the hairdresser is so hip and modern and she gives you an horr… well, a haircut like that.”

Then they piled on:

– “It looks like you’re from the 80s.”

– “You look ancient”

– “You just need to grow your bangs.”

Then they added that “compliment” because maybe they realised what they said was mostly negative and said: “But you still look pretty.”

So yeah…I was trying so hard not to cry. I am so deeply insecure about me appearance that it kills me every time.

I promised myself I wouldn’t have listened but after the forth comment, I couldn’t help it.

So guess what? Tomorrow I’ll wash my hair and try to style it as I like it.

Wish me luck.

xxx

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I jinxed it.

This has been a difficult month. Truly difficult.

In my last life update, I was positive. Optimistic. Well, it all went down the toilette on November 1st.

The irony.

A little bit of background story…. In Italy, November 1st is a national holiday. It’s the day when, if you’re christian, you celebrate the gestures and sacrifices Saints made throughout the history of Christianity. (Which is sort of funny because November 2nd is the day in which we remember the people who died, we go to the cemetery to visit them and we pay our respects).

Aside from this lesson in Christian culture (that I’m not really a fan of), I was supposed to take my granddad to the city centre. He is 87 and they revoked his driving license. I got mine so I could help out and so at 9.45AM I was ready to pick him up.

Long story short, a lady hit me with her car 50 meters after I dropped him off. She didn’t stop at the STOP sign and hit me on my left side.

MY WORST NIGHTMARE.

I’ve talked about my fear of driving extensively on this blog. A car accident was the main thing I was terrified about. The worst possible scenario that could have happened did. We weren’t hurt. Not even a little bit. We were both going so slow. I was at 25 km/h, she was even slower. But it did happen. And this completely threw me off.

I had started going to Uni and for two weeks, I was paralyzed at home, scared of my own shadow. I cried for 3 days straight. Every time someone brought up the word “car”, I would just freeze and my eyes would water.

So, yeah. My positive blog entry jinxed me.

Three days ago, we brought the car back home. It was in the shop for a month and the insurance company took care of everything. And yet, I’m still terrified. I hate it so much. I’m a responsible driver. I go slow, I stop at every sign, I don’t go over the limit. NEVER. But every time I see a car coming from my left or right side, I flinch.

My mom has been incredibly supportive. When I broke down sobbing after we did the accident report with the lady, she said she was so sorry and she was hurting for me because she knew how scared I was of driving. She says that now I’ve been “baptized” and that everything from now on, it’s going to go smoothly. Ever the pessimist that I am, I don’t really believe her.

It was just back luck. In italy, we call it “sfiga”.

Our family friend had the best response. His wife bumped the car against a lamp pole a couple of months before and he said: “I wish it would have happened to me, so the insurance would fix it and I wouldn’t have to pay it myself.”

It was a dumb joke that I desperately needed. So thanks, V.

It took me a month to be semi-okay with this. But since today, I went and took my granddad to the city centre for his bar chats with his friends (and nothing happened), I wanted to get it out of my chest.

I’m off now. I have to go and bring him back home.

(as I was writing this, my mom said my uncle is going to take him home. I so relieved you can’t even imagine it.)

xxx

 

MINDHUNTER (Netflix) – Review

This show is disturbing. Very very disturbing.

I’ve spoken to a friend about this and I can’t find another word to describe it.

“Mindhunter” is a Netflix show about two FBI agents who travel around the country talking to criminals in the 70s. And yes the fashion is amazing. The two characters are inspired by real agents who tried to understand the psychological problems behind these criminals’ horrific and abhorring murders.

While travelling around the US, they often consul with local policemen in deeply upsetting cases.

Moreover, they bring in a Harvard professor (played by the brilliant Anna Torv) who helps them turn these random interviews into something with structure that can resemble a method of investigating.

It’s so interesting. Such a fascinating subject. But let me tell you, it’s hard to watch.

Not because of the violence on screen, but because of the terrible stories these criminals are narrating.

The sexual nature of these crimes is what gets to me. How these disturbed people relate to sex and relationship with women. The hatred against women, mothers, daughter, fiancées is what upsets me.

Why are men so angry towards women? Why is there so much need for control and the domination of women? In light of recent events (see Donald Trump, Kevin Spacey, Louis CK, Bill O’Riley and sadly more), this is even more revolting. Seeing these twisted and sick minds narrate their actions and feelings with such non-chalance, really makes you feel angry and disgusted of men.

On a different topic, Debbie’s progressive and independent free spirit is a refreshing and reassuring presence that makes you forget, even if just for a moment, the depravity you’ve just heard.

From a technical point of view, I love the 70s style! Something else I’ve enjoyed, is the gigantic white writing that tells you which city the two agents are in. So cool! It blinds you every single time it pops on your screen. And the music?! Adored it! So funky and (weirdly) mostly upbeat! ❤️

The colours are always leaning towards the grey and the atmosphere reminds me of those sad british period pieces where everythings is depressing.

Anyway, I recommended it to my friend and she binge-watched it in two days. She was so eager to talk about it and share opinions and various impressions on the characters.

Created by Joe Penhall and with directors like David Fincher, the show sees Jonathan Groff (Kristof from Frozen and King George from Hamilton), Holt McCallany(Fight Club, Suicide Squad) as protagonists along with the brilliant and magnificent Anna Torv (Olivia Dunham from Fringe) and Hannah Gross.
luding, this show creeps me out. To me, it is utterly disturbing but at the same time, so well-crafted. I definitely hope that the Television Academy will considerate it for many Emmy nominations.

Let me know your opinions! I’d love to chat about it!

xxx

Georgia

FINALLY!!!

I have written a couple of posts regarding my driver’s license (Getting My Driver’s Licence and May Favourites (and not) 2017) and my frustration with the driving lessons.

On October 12th, I had my exam. The actual practical test in which I had to drive around the city with my instructor and the examiner.

I was told to get there at 2:45 PM and guess what? I got in the car at 5:40. Of course I wasn’t nervous! Waiting 3 hours in a room with 3 other idiots who kept freaking out and telling the world the worst possible (and impossible) situation.

If it weren’t a crime, I would have strangled them. I was scared of taking this. I didn’t want to fail and have to take the exam a months later.

The test itself wasn’t that bad. I agreed with everything the examiner said, tuned her out when she was being insufferable and chatted about villas and houses when we were stuck behind train barriers for 10 minutes.

Due to this inconvenience, we were forced to take another route. A route I have never taken in my entire life. I thought it had no exit. I went through an underground passage! With a steep hill! I was terrified!

BUT I DID PASS!!!

It was all so quick! We got out of the car, she didn’t say a word and then she started writing things on pieces of paper. She made me sign my file and then she gave me my licence! Just like that!

She didn’t say anything, she just handed me my badge and that was it.

Don’t you worry, I am still absolutely terrified of driving. COMPLETELY PARALYZED WITH FEAR. As soon as I get more comfortable with driving on my own (something I’ve never done before), I’ll be unstoppable.

 

 

 

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