Riverdale – s03 ep 04 – “Chapter Thirty-Nine: The Midnight Club” – REVIEW

I’m Ok. I’m Ok. No, scratch that.

I am not okay.

What was this episode and most of all…


I have to admit, I was not 100% sold on this. 15% of my brain feared this would be as terrible as the musical episode (whose songs I cannot get out of my head, to be honest. They are so catchy I hate them) but…

I loved it.

Get ready because I will definitely go over the 1.000 words. And most of them will be Cole Sprouse related. I have a lot of opinions.

And right from the beginning, TROUBLE ON THE HORIZON! Alice is in the bathroom waiting for a pregnancy test to show her the results. She’s pregnant, obviously. With FP Jones’ baby.

The scene in the bathroom was so fake! The acting was terrible and Hermione’s reactions were insufferable.

And seeing KJ Apa with dark hair was just weird. Like seeing Cole blonde. It’s just… no!


The group is put in detention: Hermione, Alice, Sierra and Penelope for fighting in the bathroom and FP and Fred for running around the school hallways naked.

Lili Reinhart played Young Alice Cooper beautifully.


She showed another side of her acting, one that she was not able to use while portraying Betty Cooper. Acting as the rebellious bad girl from the wrong side of the track, she was amazing. She really was. The smirks, eye rolls and overall facial expressions were spot on.

And let’s talk about Cole Sprouse for a bit. Like this GIF by dailyrivermale.tumblr.com





I am fucking speechless.

Oh and this? This absolutely killed me.








I totally get it. I mean, have you seen him? The smirk he gives her and her reaction… I do not have the words to comment on all of this.

Then of course there’s THE scene that shows how different and how similar they are to their grown-up version: like Fred wanting to stay in Riverdale and run for mayor and Sierra hating that idea, but ending up doing it later in life.



We see a little bit of FP’s back story, trying to fit in the north side, his dad beating him up and his unwillingness to join the Serpents.

And some weird ass shit with Penelope: apparently, she was “taken in” by the Blossom family as an orphan, became a sort of sister to Clifford and they ended up marrying him!!!


The writers cannot leave this incest/inbreeding thing alone! It’s awful! Just as horrible as FP and Alice having sex where their respective children were sleeping together and Betty and Jughead having sex in Dilton’s bunker, or Veronica and Archie having sex in the show while his father is fighting for his life at the hospital or…

You get it. Ok? Riverdale cannot deal with sex in a normal way.

She hated the Blossoms and she ended up becoming exactly like them. If not worse.

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They start playing the game and yadi yadi… But I could NOT watch FP trying to kiss Hermione. I could only see Cole and Camila and it freaked me out.

And was the kiss between Fred and Alice necessary? Are Lili and KJ contractually obligated to make out at least once per season? Why do Betty and Archie have to kiss? It’s…. no. It’s wrong.

They are friends!

Adult!Alice did give the best explanation for this:


I mean… WHAT?! And if you look at the beginning of episode 2, the stool where Alice is sitting is still there!!!

Anyway, The Midnight Club was created! They played dress up, playing characters and going around acting out these quests. And they meet Tom, Hiram, Doiley (?) Senior and Reggie Sr.

But shit goes down in the “Ascending Party”. Courtesy of Hiram Lodge, everybody get high on “fizzle rocks“, apparently the “jingle jangle” (lol) of the 90s. Alice was the only one who did not take any ’cause she pregnant and from this moment on, it all seems like a LSD tripping experience. (Full Disclosh: I do not know what it feels like to be on drugs but I’d assume this is the PG-13/trying to scare teenagers version of it).

“But to this day, I wonder what was in those drugs. Maybe whatever turned us into monsters. Or maybe we had been monsters all along.”

Ok, Penelope Blossom’s dancing was hilarious. I loved it. It was so bad.



And then this chalice thing… With the writings on the wall and the scary creature in the hallway… It felt so supernatural that it kinda pissed me off.

But at the same time…


It’s okay. I’m okay. I’m calm. *breathes in* * breathes out*

And look! The Principal is missing! And Fred Andrews’ dad died, while they were at the party.

So they make a pact, never to speak about what went down that night and that they saw the Principal.

Turns out: the Principal had been dead all along, shoved in a closet under the stairs with blue lips.


A closet that looks suspiciously like the one Jughead was sleeping in in season 1.


First with the Alice and Fred having sex in the same bed Jughead and Betty did (and the billion awkward sex related things on this show) and now this?!


So the Principal is dead, yadi yadi… What interests me is that he was not supposed to be there.

The blue poison was intended for one of them. Somebody was trying to kill them.

NOW shit gets interesting! This is what I’m here for! A mysterious murder mystery with intricate and obscure patterns.

There is a reason True Detective was an extremely successful show and that Riverdale’s show runner decided to use it as inspiration for this season: it fucking works.

Not like Season 2, which was a mess.

Anyway, they “destroy” the game. They scatter the pieces of the game around the town so that no one can find it. (Spoiler Alert: it doesn’t work) and they agree never to speak again about all of this. And speak to each other for that matter.

“After playing G&G it was a return to reality. We went our separate ways and burdened by our guilt, we became different people.”

Ok this was just sad.

Their lives went to shit after that night. They turned into the people they hated and despised.

Before seeing the episode, I would have assumed I would be heart-broken by FP and Alice’s passionate relationship, whereas what was truly sad was Sierra and Tom’s story.

And it makes their affair in season 2 all the more understandable. In fact, I am absolutely thrilled they are together. I have heard there might even be a wedding this season (don’t know if that it actually true, so don’t take my word for it) and I would be ecstatic if it were Tom and Sierra’s.

But one of the most shocking things, is the ending. Of course. They need to get that cliffhanger on and that “is it next thursday yet?” desperate feeling.

Alice makes Betty promise not to play the game, given how addictive as it is. Turns out…

Jughead, Cheryl, Toni, Sweet Pea and Fang have been playing the game! And Jughead has gone crazy!

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I loved it. The writers assured us that they would not separate Betty and Jughead as much as they did in season 2 (which was a fucking crime and I’m still not over it) so I hope she can help him regain his sanity and get that stupid fucking game out of his head.


Almost 1300 words later, this post is over. I went a little bit overboard. And I haven’t even scratched the surface of all the things I want to say.

Hopefully, before Thursday I’ll get another post up because I have a lot of questions. Especially about FP and Alice.

Tell me your thoughts about the episode. Did you love it? What do you think about FP and Alice? How is it possible that Cole Sprouse becomes more and more attractive as episodes go by?

Let’s talk.

Tweet at me, find me on Tumblr or send me an email.

I’m always up for swapping theories and impressions!




Riverdale – s03 ep03 – “Chapter Thirty-Eight: So Above, So Below” – REVIEW

Reasons to keep reading this review and watch the episode:

1. two shirtless Jughead scenes.

2. Jughead in suspenders

3. Veronica, Cheryl, Betty and Josie’s dresses and stunning necklines.

… and a whole lot of crazy! If you haven’t already, check out my previous Riverdale posts!

Let’s get into the episode!

At first I was like…. oh no more scenes with Archie in prison and then…



Falice in bed together. I like them, they are interesting characters but I’m a bughead fan and this is all incestuous and weird. Especially because they then start talking about their children!



and then Betty and Jughead are in Dilton’s bunker having sex?!

It’s your DEAD classmate’s weird ass bunker! So, yes, Betty, it is fucking weird you guy are “crushing” there. THIS SHOW!!!


And yet, seeing a shirtless Jughead solving crimes with Betty made it all perfectly fine..

What have I become?

For the record…


Bughead’s investigation leads them to Ethel and the weird new girl from the farm… Apparently they know each other, she has been helping her.

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More importantly, we get a look at Veronica’s Speak Easy! With Reggie seemingly in charge, (shouldn’t that be FP?) Veronica encounters some problem. Pop’s Tate Shop is not doing so well and she NEEDS to open the bar.

But South Side Penny Peabody has other plans. She interferes by shipping boxes of Jingle Jangle to Veronica and then sending Sheriff Minetta for an inspection.

Some shit with Archie… The warden wants him to fight in a secret boxing ring and yadi yadi… He wins but too fast so the warden is pissed. Then he sends in to an outdoors gym where somehow there is Joaquin.

Betty and Jughead try to talk to Ethel again but damn, she crazy. She tells Betty she’ll never be worthy of the game and to Jughead to meet her in the bunker.


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I’m very worried and scared for Jughead…

Him playing that dangerous game with Ethel… Even if it is just for the first step.

Something else I have to comment on… Aren’t all those candles a fire hazard? It’s a bunker, in the middle of a forest and there are at least 100 candles lying around. I would be terrified the whole thing would just blow up, and with it, my sweet Jughead.





As the episode moves forward, I’m growing more and more concerned about Jughead and this fucking game. I have to wait two weeks for the flashback episode and this is unacceptable.

And he has to kiss Ethel? Because it is in the fucking scriptures? What has this show become?! It makes even less sense than before and I love it.

I did not watch the kiss nor I even will. This is some garbage and I hate it.

Why the hell did she drink from the cup? And what was in it? Jughead’s lips were black! I have so many questions.

Shannon Purser plays crazy beautifully. She really looks demented. Finally a great performance on this show! (I also loved Alice’s meltdown after she found out her son Charles was dead. Her scene with FP was heartbreaking.)

I’ve heard some idiots sending hate messages and comments because of the kiss, just like Vanessa Morgan (Toni Topaz) did in season 2: the character she plays on TV briefly kissed another character on TV. They were acting. It’s their job. The actress does not write the scripts, you morons.

Moving onto Veronica… Her line:

“That’s right, Daddy. I’m shaking you down”



The opening of the Speak Easy was amazing. Cheryl’s dress was stunning and her boobs… Wow. I mean. Wow. The plunging neckline looked amazing on her and for the first time, we see Cheryl happy.

She was happy being photograph by Toni, she had a smile on her face in this scene. I am so glad she has finally found some peace.


Usually I am not a fan of the musical stuff on the show, but this was mesmerizing. Absolutely loved it. It was magnetic.

The writers have this ability of making me forget all the crazy shit that happens by simply putting Jughead in suspenders or leaving him shirtless. And for this: THANK YOU.

Everybody looks amazing. They all look like a combination between the roaring 20s and the classic 50s with a modern twist.

Betty and Jughead were a vision together. They looked stunning. And Reggie’s outfit! And Veronica’s!

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Daddy dearest showed up in all his evilness and yet… he looked incredibly hot.

Wait, speaking of hot dads…


In episode 1 it felt like they were about to riot and then… nothing. They disappeared off the face of the Earth.

Going back to Archie for a brief moment: when the warden said: “That kid is a star.” and I legit shouted: “THE GLORIOUS LADIES OF WRESTLING, BITCHES.” (I’m still missing season 2 btw, but nevermind)

FP and Alice teaming up to protect their children… By burning the only copy of the rule book of the game that Ethel gave Jughead after that whole debacle with the drinking, the kissing and the candles.

And up it goes into flames…

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Archie, Archie, Archie… how are you so dumb?

“We’re escaping. Somehow.”


I started laughing like a maniac. Archie might be on the road to redemption for all his sins but he still makes unbelievably stupid decisions.

Never change, idiot.

And another shirtless Jughead to make me entirely forget the garbage that happened in the 40 minutes between those two topless scenes. I’m not even mad about it. Why would I?

They sure know how to keep me interested.


But the episode is not over!

Even though FP and Alice had burnt the only manual, it appears every single person in school has had a copy put in their locker.


Even if a week late, I hope you enjoyed my review.


I really cannot wait and I am so pissed I have to wait 2 weeks to see it.

What do you think happened? Do you have any theories? How excited are you to see Rebel!Alice and Young!FP?!

And how weird is it that they have all hooked up, some of them married each other and now some of their kids are dating? It’s so weird and confusing.

Great episode. Slightly less awkward than the previous one. *has Jailhouse Rock/shaking of the fence flashbacks*

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Riverdale – s03 ep 02 – “Chapter Thirty-Seven: Fortune and Men’s Eyes” – REVIEW

Oh, Riverdale… you did it again. I had the best time watching this scary, trashy and ridiculous show.

There was so much Bughead! Our favourite investigative duo is back together and it’s adorable.

Now, let’s get into it because I have so many opinions.

Archie gets processed in prison, the warden talks about the music room for some reason and tells him not to get into trouble. NO. SHIT. But wait…

THE HOT DADS OF RIVERDALE ARE READY FOR ACTION… but in the next episode. Maybe.

Skeet Ulrich, Luke Perry, and Martin Cummins in Riverdale (2016)

We find out Betty’s seizure is caused by “stress”. Like we fucking believe it. Again with Juniper and Dagweed. Poor children.

And Dilton is dead. Like, really dead. And Ben is a coma. At “The Blue and Gold”, Jughead tells Betty what he saw in the woods and it’s major True Detective flashbacks. (I have to re-watch season 1. It’s fantastic.)

And Bughead Investigations is back in business! In an interview, Cole Sprouse said it’s their kink. And he’s right. It really is.


Archie is bunking with this guy called “Mad Dog” and what does he do? HE STARTS TALKING!

Archie, you dumbass, you don’t ask cellmates private stuff?!
Have you never seen a tv show or movie where the main character is in jail?!


SHUT THE FUCK UP, you dink.

(I listened to two The Good Place The PodcastThe Good Place The Podcast episodes with Bad Janet. Blame her)

And Cheryl wants to become Student President, replacing Archie’s vacant seat.


I did not remember Joaquin being such a hard ass! Archie immediately shows off his “ink” and we find out Joaquin came back to town to help Fangs at the end of season 2 and he got caught during the riots! FUN!

Joaquin wants Archie to shiv a guy.


Archie, for the love of God, stop calling people “bro”.

The Medical Examiner (who looks remarkably similar to Bill Skarsgård) tells Bughead some facts about Dilton’s death and says:

“I’m not sure what it is but… whatever it is, it’s darker than what happened to Jason Blossom or what the Black Hood did. No, what we’re looking at here I believe is the true face of evil”.

Jughead is using a non-digital camera to shoot pictures and then he is in the darkroom to process them.


IS THIS THE 1960s?

Although it was nice to see Cole in his element.

Archie gets beaten up and Edgar Evernever’s creepy daughter freaks Betty out.

Zoé De Grand Maison in Riverdale (2016)

Moose is still deeply in the closet and not willing to be seen with Kevin by his father.

Am I supposed to know what an RROTC is? And why they are dressed in this stupid-ass uniform? Because I don’t get it.


At first I was like… why is Veronica working at Pop’s? And then Veronica itself reminded me she actually owns the place! But it ended up being a lovely moment between the two.

Cheryl is a viper but she comes through. 

Bughead is one the move! Finding creepy wooden stick dolls, confronting Sheriff Minetta and Ethel. And there is a missing kid!, who was part of Dilton’s group.

Ethel tells Bughead about Dilton’s bunker in the woods and they set to meet up.

Some more Archie bullshit…

Alice and FP confront Betty and Jughead about their investigation and Alice reveals to both men she had a seizure.

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Jughead and FP’s worried looks were absolutely adorbs.

Now onto the most Riverdale part ever. Archie making a bit speech in the middle of the prison’s outdoors “garden” about prison, other roads, sports, high school football…


No Goulies no Serpents. Love and peace.


Alice and Betty have a nice moment in her bedroom even if as soon as I saw this picture, I thought Jughead was going to climb in from the window or come out from under the bed sheets.

Lili Reinhart in Riverdale (2016)

But Betty sneaks out and meets him in the woods and it all gets weirdly inappropriate. They reminisce about the times when they first started dating



This things appears on screen! I’m like… WHAT. THE. FUCK.

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Some more Archie bullshit with Veronica and Mad Dog and…

Bughead is in Dilton’s bunker! And they find the missing kid!

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Scaring the bejesus out of Betty and me.

And the football came is here! With Veronica and the Vixens cheering on Archie.

This was stupid.

This was misogynistic.

It was wrong. On so many levels.

And what were the inmates doing with that gate?!

Oh look! Daddy shows up! And blocks Veronica from visiting Archie. All the inmates basically get beaten up by the guards and Archie yells:

“It’s a freaking ambush! Everybody run!”


And police brutality on a white kid!? Progressive, Riverdale! They tell Archie Mad Dog “died” even if he wasn’t even there.

For some reason, this happens:

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These people, you guys…

With only 5 minutes left, they start packing plot twist after plot twist.

Ethel starts having a seizure

The Prison Warden “taps” Archie and gives him the title of “Mad Dog”

There is a “Council of the Parents” that is weird as fuck. They made some kind of  vow in highschool never to talk about a certain secret they buried all those years before. And they seems to be revolving around the Gargoyle King.

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Apparently the “blue lips” aspect of Dilton’s death shook both Fred and FP. They made a pact never to revisit that night, or to mention it or to think about it.

Hermione Lodge said: “All of this is happening AGAIN.

Ben throws himself off the window right in front of Betty and Jughead, who had gone to the hospital to check up on him.

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He starts talking about “being with Dilton” and “ascending“, that they’ll be “reunited in the kingdom“, “part of his plan” and out the window he goes!

What is going on with the parents? What is the secret they’ve been keeping for years and years?

And this cult thing? And the seizures? And the game? I’m… I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.

Why would they do the football match and the jailhouse rock thing?! That was unbearable and fucking horrible

Let’s objectify women! Yay!

I can’t wait for the next episode. I saw the trailer and it looks great.


 I really really want to know what you think about the episode. Were you as outraged as I was about the Jailrock House thing?

Tweet at me, find me on Tumblr or send me an email.

I’m always up for swapping theories and impressions!




Riverdale – s03 ep01 – “Chapter Thirty-Six: Labor Day” – Season Premiere

[Attention! This post contains spoilers for the season premiere of Riverdale! Some swearing and also spoilers for the 6th season of Game Of Thrones]

It’s back! Riverdale is back!!!



I was entertained from beginning to end. Okay, I might have been quite busy ogling Jughead but COME ON!

I remember I was watching the trailer when it came out and when the gargoyle king, or what ever that thing is, I yelled: “That’s TRUE DETECTIVE SEASON 1”.
I loved that they went in this direction and I think this third season will benefit from it.


I was moved, I laughed, I had fun, I was scared, I was turned on… What more could you possibly want?
As soon as Archie sad: “I’m guilty“ I started clapping and I didn’t stop for like five minutes.

It was amazing I loved it.

Molly Ringwald, Skeet Ulrich, Luke Perry, Mädchen Amick, Robin Givens, Cole Sprouse, Ashleigh Murray, Lili Reinhart, Cody Kearsley, Jordan Connor, Camila Mendes, K.J. Apa, and Casey Cott in Riverdale (2016)

As soon as the episode was over, I felt the need to watch the next one. I binge watched season one and two, so I didn’t have to wait a week for another episode come out.

This year, my patience will be put to the test.

Seeing Jughead in suspenders for basically 45 minutes was the best thing that has ever happened to me. He was so incredibly hot and I was deeply attracted to him. To an almost pathological level.
Also, speaking of Jughead, he was eating for the entire episode. He always had something in his hand or in his mouth and he was chewing and eating and I loved it.

I feel like it spoke to the essence of the character.

Something else I absolutely adored was that Cheryl and Tony went on holiday while Archie was on trial for murder.

It’s exactly what I would have done because I cannot seem to be able to care for Archie.

I love that Betty and Jughead are finally communicating with each other, eye-fucking…

The Serpent Queen Is A Warrior Queen

they are the same page and they respect each other. Not that they didn’t before, but it was different. This time it feels more like they are a unit. I do hope that the writers will not divide them or break them up. Because my heart cannot handle that.

Speaking of Betty… I really thought she was seeing a therapist! And I am a little bit worried about her use of “Adderall”, Polly is a bitch and Alice has gone out of her mind. (And she was sitting next to FP at the trial. So… wink wink…)

And FP with his glasses on?

ADORBS! Him and the other Hot Dads of Riverdale fighting against Hiram and his allies.

And he gave her his precious hat!!! To quote Veronica… SWOON!!!

[Gif by betty-cooper.tumblr.com]

I loved SweetPea and Jodie together (It’s not gonna be only a summer fling. I would not have pictured them together but okay) , I was confused and weirded out by Kevin’s proposition to Moose to lose their virginity before Halloween. And poor Moose looked terrified!

What was that scene about?

I have barely mentioned Veronica… Sorry girl. She stood up to Hiram, she fought against him. Hermione’s lack of freedom made me sad. She is trapped in that life and she is liable to Hiram’s fury. He might turn against her: his daughter is his blood. His wife is not.

And it’s super sad.

And Archie?, you ask…

K.J. Apa in Riverdale (2016)

I am unbelievably happy that he has started to realise how much of a dick he was last season. He owned up to his mistakes and as he said, even if he wasn’t actually guilty of murdering the guy: he did some bad things.


Dilton’s attitude during the episode, Jughead’s weird voodoo findings and Betty’s hallucinations!!!

They underlined the fact that there are no supernatural elements to it, so… that we know! Although they might be pulling a Kit Harrington like: “Oh yeah. I’m super dead! I’m not coming back to season 6!”

And three episodes later:

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I’m so curious to see how they are going to explore this aspect. They have a masterpiece like True Detective (season 1) to draw inspiration from.

I’m so proud that I made the connection before having it confirmed by the show runner. I might be a little smug about it….

It’s been such a long time I have felt this excited and giddy about fucking teenage drama and I’m living for this. I do hope the writers have learnt from their past mistakes (Betty stripping, weird sex stuff and weird characterisations) and I’m so excited to see what’s going to happen next.

What do you think might happen next? Do you think Archie and Veronica are going to break up? Who is the Gargoyle King? Will Alice come to her senses? Were you just as happy as I was to see Archie going to prison?

As always, feel free to tweet at me, find me on tumblr or email me!