Missing two trains, Univeristy stuff and headaches

On Wednesday, I had the worst day.

It was really bad.

Weirdly enough, mentally, I was almost ok. But let’s start from the beginning: I emailed a few of my university professor in order to get the materials to study for my exams and so I had to go to Uni and actually talk to them. I need to do at least 2 exams this year or my mom will have a heart attack and I will have to explain to people why I didn’t, so in order to avoid all of this lying and unnecessary stress, I’m doing this. Even if it devastates me.

IMG_6628Anyway, I knew that if I didn’t have anyone pushing me to go talks to the professors, I wouldn’t have gone. But I did.

To summon everything up, my friend arrived late to pick me up and we missed out train. So we arrived in Venice late and therefore I got to the building where the professor was holding meetings late and I spent an hour waiting. Then we went back to the station and guess what? We missed the train AGAIN because my friend was again LATE.

But I held it. I didn’t say anything, I stayed calm. Even though this caused me to be late again, I ate in a haste and then I went to tutor some kids. For almost four hours. With an excruciatingly painful headache.

I’ve been suffering from terrible headaches recently. Like this one, they start at midday, I can’t concentrate and even moving ONE muscle feels like nails drilling into my brain.

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I really kept my cool, not a scrap of makeup on my face and kept on smiling. But the real question is: how can you miss two trains in the span of 5 hours. Please tell me. I repeatedly told her I had a full day and no time to waste.  I had to go back the next day and I sooooooo didn’t tell her that I was. I was truly upset.

I hadn’t slept very well the night before. I was so scared about going to Venice and dealing with all of that university stuff. I’ve been doing a little bit better, studying for my driving license exam and opening the uni website without having a panic attack. So, of course, I took this opportunity for actually getting things done.

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Franky, I don’t know what’s been going on with me. Some days are awful. Some are better. This week it’s been good. The last one wasn’t. I sat on my bed crying for a while, feeling too frightened to even get out of the house.

Tomorrow is Easter. The family will gather both on Sunday and on Monday. This means questions, scrutiny and a lot of judgy looks. Let’s hope next week is going to be just as good at this one. Without the missed trains.

Have a nice weekend!

Georgia

March Favourites 2017

I haven’t had the greatest month. Not at all.

Life wise, I started studying for my driving license for the 5th time. I contacted my professors at Uni for material for my exams. I cried and freaked out about it for days, but nevermind. I’ve been anxious for weeks and not sleeping very well. And felt like shit for the longest time. But it’s okay!!! I’m not extremely sad! *said in the most sarcastic voice ever*

To get my morale up, I started writing down all of the things I like this month.  But then I happily realized that the list was longer than expected. Soooo, I’ll be splitting them in two and in this post, I’ll focus on the general stuff and the next one will be all about beauty.

Enough blabbing, let’s get on with it.

  • Stationery clips and Stabilo Pen

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I got these clips at “Tiger” on September and until recently I had lost them! I basically took apart my bedroom, searched everywhere in the house and of course my dad had hidden them on top of the cabinet in the kitchen. COME ON. But I recently found them and I’ve been using them for literally everything. They are absolutely adorable and unbelievable cheap. I’m in love.

On the other hand,  I stole this pen from my sister only to figure out that it was actually my mom’s and that she was pretty angry she lost it. I’m still keeping it because it’s amazing. And I love how my handwriting turns out. I’m so going to re-purchase this and if there are, I’m without a doubt getting it in different colours.

  • Gilmore Girls Fanfictions

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I’m a Fanfiction nut. I have 2 apps and I even paid 0.99€ for the premium version of one. And I have no regrets. I have almost 400 stories in my favourites and I have read A LOT OF THEM multiple times. But since I got obsessed with Gilmore Girls and in particular Jess and Rory, I’ve been basically reading the entire section on FanFiction.net. Here is a selection of the ones I’ve most enjoyed: Stop Running, They Say it isn’t easy, The Runaways, The KidThe Kid Some of them are filled with clichés and predictable plots, but honestly: who fucking cares.

  • Netflix

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March marked the wonderful beginning of my relationship with Netflix. And so far, it’s been great. There are a lot of shows that are missing or aren’t complete but I’ve been loving it. I’ve binge-watched all 6 seasons of New Girl, started watching “Grace and Frankie”, skipped from one episode to another of “Friend” and I have the possibility of choosing between 7 seasons and the Year in the Life special of Gilmore Girls.

I’ve been really into stand up comedy recently and Aziz Ansari and Trevor Noah are SPECTACULAR. Highly recommend.

  • This is Us  – Last three episodes marathon

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I’ll be brief because I’ll start crying. I saved the last three episodes until the finale came out and then binge watched them. And then watched “The Aftershow” on Youtube. I was devastated, it has scarred me for life and I’m in love. Milo Ventimiglia and Mandy Moore were unbelievably talented in the last episode and Sterling K Brown made me had emotions I didn’t even know human were capable of feeling. Can’t wait for season 2. I’ll be crying.

  • The Bachelor Finale

58472a417ca5765f5638b6c7_o_f_v1I spoke about this at length in a recent post and the 12 weeks I’ve spent with the bachelor nation watching the show was the weirdest, most amazing ever. It’s the most ridiculous programm I’ve seen in my life and italian television is just as bad.

  • Grey’s Anatomy s13e16: “Who Is He (And What Is He to You)?”

I’ve been regularly watching Grey’s Anatomy for 3 years now and this episode finally resembled the greatness of the show’s earlier seasons. After Cristina and Derek’s departure (and previously Mark and Lexie’s) the show felt weird. But this episode was finally GOOD. Jesse Williams isn’t only a good looking person and an involved activist, he is pretty talented and he finally had the chance to shine. His presence on the screen was spectacular, captivating and graceful. I already liked him, but it was after this interview with Trevor Noah on “The Daily Show” that I started appreciating him more. The episode itself was great, full of drama, love, complicated relationship. One of the best “on the character” focus-episode they have produced.

This next thing is not television related and it’s a book.

  • The Hating Game

I don’t even know how I found out about this book, but I’m so glad I did. This is exactly the chick-flic that I LOVE! It’s not dumb like most of them, there are no sexist messages, the story itself is not something revolutionary and particularly new but I read it in 2 days. To give a brief summary, the story is about Lucy and Joshua, two co-workers who despise each other but are both up for the same promotion. But as they try to win the hating game, they might discover that they don’t dislike each other that much.

At times there are cliché moments and some typical romantic stuff, but I absolutely loved it. There is no bullshit insta-love, no unnecessary sexy times, no soul mate shit. If they don’t make this into a movie, Hollywood is losing a great opportunity for a brilliant brand new rom-com. PLEASE MAKE IT INTO A MOVIE! OR EVEN BETTER, A TV SERIE! PLEASE!


That’s it! These were my non-beauty related things I loved during the month of March. To see what I’ve been loving makeup-wise, here is the link for the blog post!

Hope you enjoyed this! Have a lovely day!

Georgia

Letting It All Out

Today I sat in mt bathroom floor and cried for 20 minutes.

It hadn’t happened in a couple of months and in the last couple of days. I was truly feeling better. I wanted to study, to do things and get my driving licence.

But apparently something inside of me said “No!” and I found myself sobbing next to the washing machine.

Maybe I just needed to let my feelings go. I’ve been meaning to talk about the stupid thing I’m doing, but I knew that if I did, I’d start crying. But I already did cry, so this is the perfect opportunity. What are a couple more tears!

If you look around my blog, it’s easy to see what my passions are: tv series and makeup. And so what am I doing? I’m keeping my brain stimulated all day.

I don’t let myself think. EVER. Not even for a second.

I always have headphones on. I’m listening to the soundtrack of Hamilton, watching Stephen Colbert and John Oliver and of course watching TV series.

And when I’m not listening or watching things, I’m reading Fanfictions or books.

I’m keeping my brain constantly busy, not letting it rest for even a second. I know it’s wrong. I know. I shouldn’t run away from things, but for now, this is it..

Going back to the crying, I don’t really know what happened. I had words with my dad, but that’s just normal. There was nothing to trigger such an extreme reaction.  Maybe I’m tired, I’ve had a busy week.

My mom said that, in order to get better, I need to get out of the house every day. And I did. I got out and I was wearing clothes and no half-clothes/half-pyjamas, I put on make up, I talked to people, I went to see my grandparents, I’ve been working and tutoring a LOT this week and I also did a dozen of mock tests for the driving license.

Frankly, I don’t know what went wrong.

Just today, I went to the market with my friend, took blog photos, made lunch, helped my aunt, worked all afternoon…  I really don’t understand. Maybe I just overdid it.

I already feel a headache coming on: whenever this (the crying) happens, I always feel like I’m numb and my head is exploding.

By the way, I’m writing this for me. I don’t care about sympathy and shit. I just wanted to feel better.

Georgia

Going Shopping

Every 6 months my family and I go a shopping centre an hour away from our town. There you can buy designer clothes for really cheap prices. It’s that occasion where you can splurge on expensive things without going bankrupt.

I was excited, really excited. There are 2 makeup store and I can’t even begin to tell you the deals I got last time.

We were 7 women ready to shop. Everyone had stores they wanted to check out and they all had things to buy. My sister was obsessed in finding a winter coat, my mom wanted to buy some no-iron-shirts for my dad and so on.

The main thing for my was to buy makeup I wouldn’t normally wear at really really cheap price. BUT my mother had other ideas: she wanted to buy me a coat.

A thing that is really nice of her, don’t get me wrong. But we arrived at the place at 9.30AM and at 10AM I was already ready to cry.

Going shopping with my mom and aunt is ALWAYS challenging. They judge everything, they comment on everything and they make you feel like shit. And this is only the clothing part of all the criticism that goes on.

My weight, my posture, the shirt I’m wearing, my taste in clothes, my attitude, my haircut, my decisions… It’s really adorable.

I had 12 pair of eyes on me while I was trying them on. I hate being judged. I hate it, hate it, hate it… And my family is really good at it.

I’m not kidding, I tried on at least 8 different coats and some of them didn’t fit me well. I had my eyes set on a short coat but my family didn’t like it, so of course they tried to convince me that the one they liked was “The One”.

I totally felt like I was on an episode of “Say Yes to The Dress”.

I didn’t like the coat, I didn’t feel comfortable in it, but of course they tried to bully me into getting it. But why would I want to please them?

I am fucking 20 years old and I would like to have a say in what I’m wearing. I would NOT like to be judged like every single minute of my life. I feel like in my family having different opinions and different interests means I’m always wrong. I’ve been trying to accept it in the journey of “getting better” but I believe I shouldn’t be demolished like this.

I know, it’s family. It’s what they do. But forcing me to buy a coat by making me feel as I’m nothing is wrong.

IT’S A COAT. A FUCKING COAT. It’s a futile matter! We shouldn’t argue about it! And they kept bringing it up all fucking day!

I know that the solution would have been simple. To cave. But frankly I had too much pride to just give in. I feel like seeing this post from an outsider’s point of view looks absurd. But I felt like I had to stood up for myself. I remember the many many times they forced me into buying things they like (and that I never wore) or the times they insulted something I had bought. I stopped wearing them, I simply took them off, hung in my clothes and after I year or two I gave them to charity.

I don’t do New Year’s resolution because I think they’re dumb, but after I decided to take a semester off, I have goals to achieve in order to get better.

I want to always stand up for myself and spend more time with people I ACTUALLY want to. I want to openly disagree with my family and finally be free!!! Sounds dramatic…

I’m trying to “be positive” (like my mother always says) so

  1. Tonight there are the Golden Globes in America!I’m SO EXCITED ABOUT IT!
  2. Tomorrow my family is going back to work and I can finally relax and start taking photograph for one of my next blog posts (about all the stuff I bought at Pupa and L’Oreal)!

Thanks for reading! Sorry for the rant.

Georgia    🙂

P.S. I have just realized this is my 50th post! Yay!