Missing two trains, Univeristy stuff and headaches

On Wednesday, I had the worst day.

It was really bad.

Weirdly enough, mentally, I was almost ok. But let’s start from the beginning: I emailed a few of my university professor in order to get the materials to study for my exams and so I had to go to Uni and actually talk to them. I need to do at least 2 exams this year or my mom will have a heart attack and I will have to explain to people why I didn’t, so in order to avoid all of this lying and unnecessary stress, I’m doing this. Even if it devastates me.

IMG_6628Anyway, I knew that if I didn’t have anyone pushing me to go talks to the professors, I wouldn’t have gone. But I did.

To summon everything up, my friend arrived late to pick me up and we missed out train. So we arrived in Venice late and therefore I got to the building where the professor was holding meetings late and I spent an hour waiting. Then we went back to the station and guess what? We missed the train AGAIN because my friend was again LATE.

But I held it. I didn’t say anything, I stayed calm. Even though this caused me to be late again, I ate in a haste and then I went to tutor some kids. For almost four hours. With an excruciatingly painful headache.

I’ve been suffering from terrible headaches recently. Like this one, they start at midday, I can’t concentrate and even moving ONE muscle feels like nails drilling into my brain.

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I really kept my cool, not a scrap of makeup on my face and kept on smiling. But the real question is: how can you miss two trains in the span of 5 hours. Please tell me. I repeatedly told her I had a full day and no time to waste.  I had to go back the next day and I sooooooo didn’t tell her that I was. I was truly upset.

I hadn’t slept very well the night before. I was so scared about going to Venice and dealing with all of that university stuff. I’ve been doing a little bit better, studying for my driving license exam and opening the uni website without having a panic attack. So, of course, I took this opportunity for actually getting things done.

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Franky, I don’t know what’s been going on with me. Some days are awful. Some are better. This week it’s been good. The last one wasn’t. I sat on my bed crying for a while, feeling too frightened to even get out of the house.

Tomorrow is Easter. The family will gather both on Sunday and on Monday. This means questions, scrutiny and a lot of judgy looks. Let’s hope next week is going to be just as good at this one. Without the missed trains.

Have a nice weekend!

Georgia

Getting my Driving Licence

I am 20 years old and I do not have a driving licence. In the small town where I live there are no means of transportation than can allow me to go around without a car,  so I am basically forced to get it.

I hate it. Totally hate studying for my theory test. I think the questions are stupid an purposefully made to confuse me.

Anyway, I have been trying fo a while to study, but frankly the reason why I seem to be unable to pass the test is that I have terrified of actually driving a car.

I am a pretty paranoid person. Well, no. I am a SUPER paranoid person. And a control freak. So being behind the wheel and driving a car is scaring me to death. I NEED to be in control of what’s happening around me.

My family has been pressuring me to get the licence and the more they ask about it, the more scared I am.

As of now, I’m studying the manual again. Usually I read it, study it then I get to the tests and I CAN’T PASS THEM!!! So obviously I get frustrated and I abandon everything.  This defeats my concept:

YOU STUDY => YOU LEARN => YOU PASS YOUR EXAM => YOU GET YOUR LICENCE

But my logic doesn’t seem to work in this situation and it is making me quite frustrated. I am halfway through the book and I have been using a new method of study: flashcards.

I saw it on Grey’s Anatomy and I decided to give it a go. Don’t know if it will work.

The next step: ask my mom to take to the place where I can book the test. Like that is going to be easy!

 

Georgia  🙂