Life Update: September/October 2017

I’ve been pretty absent from the wordpress world lately. Life got busy and this takes so much time!!!

I have a lot of posts I have started writing and never finished, but this morning I took the pictures for my Summer/Autumn haul (yes, I am very behind) and for the post I’ve been cooking for months: 4 favourite red lipsticks.

Anyway, these two months have been surprisingly great! Mentally, I’ve been doing incredibly well. I am actually going to university, I got my driver’s licence and I’ve been working as a teacher for one afternoon a week plus two hours of tutoring.

It’s not much, especially money-wise, but I haven’t cried in a long time.

I’ve started wearing make-up everyday again, I got super obsessed with Brooklyn Nine Nine… I think in the span of two weeks I’ve seen every single Brooklyn Nine Nine episode ever made at least three times. Maybe even four.

Brooklyn Nine Nine

My closest friend got super obsessed with it and we’ve been geeking out like crazy.

Going back to the makeup part for a second, I think I FINALLY found my correct shade of foundation. Jury is still out, but I’m almost sure. (I still have doubts). And I’ve been experimenting with highlighters. To tell the truth, it’s a champagne-y eyeshadow my friend bought me and I’m not really positive it looks good. I am 75% sure it’s just glitter on my face.

I haven’t listened to ANY podcasts in a while. I was obsessed with the entire “crocked media” family but it takes up so much of my time!

I’ve also been reading!

(This post is just the most random thing ever. It’s literally a stream of consciousness kind of situation.)

Every time I watch a booktube video I get super inspired and I’ve almost reached my 2017 reading goal AGAIN! I am pretty chuffed with that…

Also, I’ve started driving alone. And even though I was pretty scared, it’s not too bad. I even put music on the other day. I could barely hear it (because I was scared I was going to get distracted, cause an incident and die), but today I almost sang an entire “Hamilton” song. (It was “My Shot”, if you’re wondering).

Anyway, I think I’m done. This doesn’t even make that much sense, but who cares!

I’ll try to be more consistent, since there are many topics I wish to discuss and get into.

Have a great day.

xxx

Georgia

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FINALLY!!!

I have written a couple of posts regarding my driver’s license (Getting My Driver’s Licence and May Favourites (and not) 2017) and my frustration with the driving lessons.

On October 12th, I had my exam. The actual practical test in which I had to drive around the city with my instructor and the examiner.

I was told to get there at 2:45 PM and guess what? I got in the car at 5:40. Of course I wasn’t nervous! Waiting 3 hours in a room with 3 other idiots who kept freaking out and telling the world the worst possible (and impossible) situation.

If it weren’t a crime, I would have strangled them. I was scared of taking this. I didn’t want to fail and have to take the exam a months later.

The test itself wasn’t that bad. I agreed with everything the examiner said, tuned her out when she was being insufferable and chatted about villas and houses when we were stuck behind train barriers for 10 minutes.

Due to this inconvenience, we were forced to take another route. A route I have never taken in my entire life. I thought it had no exit. I went through an underground passage! With a steep hill! I was terrified!

BUT I DID PASS!!!

It was all so quick! We got out of the car, she didn’t say a word and then she started writing things on pieces of paper. She made me sign my file and then she gave me my licence! Just like that!

She didn’t say anything, she just handed me my badge and that was it.

Don’t you worry, I am still absolutely terrified of driving. COMPLETELY PARALYZED WITH FEAR. As soon as I get more comfortable with driving on my own (something I’ve never done before), I’ll be unstoppable.

 

 

 

header done with fotor.com

I did it!

I passed my english exam.

I’ve literally just found out! I ran to my mom sobbing and mumbling: “I passed the exam! I got a 28/30!”

After that, I stood there for 10 minutes sheding litres and litres of tears. My mom and I talked some more, about my uni life and the choices I have to make in the next months.

Aside from that, I texted my friend to meet me saturday for our traditional celebratory smoothie and I am trying to be more positive. Tomorrow I’m supposed to go to a class and it’s killing me. I have to attend this one, because it’s about poetry in the 16th Century. SO BORING. I’m not really interested in that. I was hoping in more victorian books.

Today I’m going to pay my fee and go for a driving lesson. Despite my numbness regarding everything, I am tying to survive.

 

Tears Streaming Down Your Face

It’s definitely back.

My issues are back in full swing. I haven’t had such bad days in a long time. And the rage. I am angry. All the time.

The following may or may not be a few of the reasons.

Uni has started and I haven’t had the courage to attend any class. Next week I’ll be forced to, so expect another meltdown.


My mom, sister, aunt and cousin are going to Rome in October. Just a mothers-daughters trip. So……… yeah.

They asked me to go a couple of days later and I told them half-joking “Do you think I’m made of money?” Two days later, they came home for 4 tickets. Four.

 

sistinechapel-57ffd66e5f9b5805c2ac4916

They are already planning their trip, booking the visit to the Sistine Chapel and other museums. Great, right? I am happy for them, but I feel a bit left out. Well, a lot left out. I interpreted it like they didn’t care. If they wanted me to go, I could have got the money, I could have put off some expendable expenses (pardon the pun).

So I’ll be home the 28-29-30th of October. Next time I’ll go alone. I don’t know why I feel so upset. I don’t need them.


On top of that, they have commented on my physique (the last time just a couple of minutes ago) like it’s the only thing keeping them alive.

They have regarded my interests as useless, complained I talked about them too much. How is that even possible since I haven’t been speaking much when I’m with them? I don’t even know what to say.

I told them I was a bit tired of hearing about it and they bitterly said: “What? You want to talk about makeup and tv all day?”.

But if I don’t care about the same things as them, I’m the heartless one, the one who doesn’t care. And I don’t.

At the beginning, I was keen on helping them, managing the association’s Facebook page, but now, it’s too much. It’s the only topic they talk about. 24 fucking 7. I can’t stand it anymore. It’s the only topic. I am not exaggerating. They are currently (and have been for at least 2 hours) talking about it and yelling into a phone. I’ve threatened them to burn to whole thing down. As a joke of course. And if it weren’t bad for the environment and a felony, I would have done it a long long time ago.

(update: now my dad has picked up the phone and he is literally screaming to it.)


On top of that, my driving lesson was a disaster. A TOTAL FUCKING DISASTER.

Getting out of the house and interacting with people has been incredibly difficult this week. I received a few calls about my tutoring job and I am terrified. I don’t know why but I am scared. Really scared.

I got invited by a friend to a conference tomorrow and I’m afraid I won’t be able to cover up my inner sadness. And my judg-y friend texted me to go out. I’m not ready to face her. With the rage I am feeling, I will storm out and punch her in the face.


So yeah… Shitty week. And it looks like it won’t get better. Moreover, the official Suits account got in touch with me to send me a prize for being a long time fan, but it’s US shipping only. GREAT. I’m not angry, you are.

The title of this post is, of course, inspired by “Fix You” by Coldplay and with Tom Rosenthal’s “Soon goodbye, now love”, it has been the soundtrack of my sad 4 days.

The only joy has been TV. Like always. At least I have my shows.

xxx

Georgia

p.s. the photo of the sky was taken from the NASA website. Absolutely wonderful.