So… A couple of weeks ago I talked about this party that I was supposed to go to in my “What’s Been Going on” post and it happened two Saturdays ago.
I was not happy.
Not at all.
I didn’t have a totally terrible time but I had to restrain myself from standing up and starting yelling at them.
It was my high school friend’s birthday party and she invited a group of people who is wildly different from me. They like to drink, get wasted and party.
In the last post, I talked about how I would storm out and throw a fit whenever I heard ugly comments.
They swore like sailors. And by swearing I don’t mean the odd f-word or something like that. In Italy, we call it “bestemmiare”, I’d say the closest translation might be “to blaspheme”.
But they didn’t it all the time. Two or three in every single sentence. It was disgusting.
And not because I’m a particularly religious person, it’s just common decency. It’s ugly and disrespectful. They must have said at least 300 of them. I’m not joking.
And you would not believe the racist stuff they said. Not to mention the homophobic slurs.
I was fucking disgusted. It made me sick to my stomach.
Oh, and I also got a gin and tonic spilled on my dress.
You can hear the sarcasm from across the globe.
And I was mostly disappointed in myself. Because I didn’t say anything. But what can you say? What can you do without causing a scene and ruining your friend’s party? They notice I didn’t laugh with them and that I wasn’t even smiling. At all.
But I still feel guilty. Now, I wish I had done something. Because if you see something wrong and you don’t say anything, aren’t you a part of the problem as well?
I’ve been wrecking my brain trying to think of what I could or should have done. I rewatched a season 1 episode of Brooklyn99, in which Jake punches a homophobic journalist in the face because he insulted Captain Holt.
Maybe I should have done the same. Now the punching part, obviously. But I should not have stood by and done nothing.
The only thing that is keeping me from tearing my hair from my skull is knowing that I’ll be able to say something the next time. My friend, the only one who did not participate, invited me to a party he is throwing at the end of July and I’ll probably go just because he is the one who invited me.
But I’ll have a chance of a do-over. And I promise to get it right.
Still, I need advice. How do I make my point come across without punching him in the face or insulting him like there is not tomorrow?
Can you help me? What should I have done and what do you recommend I should do next time?