Anger

Lately I’ve been unbelievably angry.

Even the tiniest thing makes me want rip everyone’s head off. My mother was sick for a couple of days and I tried to help her as much as I could. But of course she had to complain about literally everything.

This week I should have gone back to university but I wanted to take another week for myself, relax, get into the mindset of going to Venice almost everyday but people had other plans.

They asked me to do stuff, go outside of the house, go grocery shopping and more. I just wanted to have a nice morning to myself, drown in books and TV shows and not think about the imminent start of the semester.

And yesterday I found out my boss put on the internet a video of me speaking in English and introducing myself. I was literally shaking. Being on camera puts me into a vortex of straight-up misery. It is my actual nightmare and filming it gave me nightmares for days.

Things piled up on top of each other and I will explode in the forseeable future.

I’ll go watch Brooklyn Nine Nine now. It’s the only thing that calms me down.

Jake Nodding smile B99.gif

xxx

Georgia

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30

One done. One more to go.

I took one of the two exams I’ve been studying for and I got 30.

(FYI, It’s the highest mark. I don’t know how the other universities in the world use as a scale).

It was an oral exam about a 17th century poet, John Donne, and for some reasons Shakespeare’s King Lear.

I was such a nervous rack in the days before the exam! I had gigantic spots on my face and my back, I felt a huge weight on my chest that made breathing normally a little bit difficult.

I haven’t had the best university experience. Due to a variety of personal problems and struggles. I’ve dedicated a large portion of this blog to that and I’ll leave the links at the end of this post if you want to check them out.

But, yeah…. I did it! And I didn’t even cry! NOT FUCKING ONCE!

I wasn’t expecting such a good mark but I’m proud of myself. Yes, I’m saying it. I am proud of what I’ve accomplished.Risultati immagini per lorelai i despise academics gif

But it has put me in a happier and more willing mood to continue my academic career even if, as Lorelai Gilmore eloquently put it, I despise academics.

I hope I’ll keep this up and I won’t fall in the spiral that brought me down last time.

Anyway… I GOT 30!!!!!!!!!!



Here is the list of all my uni related posts. Most include some sort of mental breakdown. You’ve been warned!

21st Sept 2016 – First Year At Uni

6th Dec 2016 – Taking a Break

9th March 2017 – Letting It All Out

15th April 2017 – Missing Two Trains, University Stuff and headaches

19th June 2017 – Failure

8th Aug 2017 – It’s Back

9th Sept 2017 – Trouble at Uni, exams and breakdown

 

TEACHING – Three Months as a Teacher

This time I want to talk about my job.

I can’t believe being a teacher is my actual job this year. I am currently teaching 3 classes at private studio in my town and I’m loving it.

It’s so hard and given my non-existent experience, I was petrified at the beginning. And even now, after 3 months, I’m no completely accustomed to it.

It takes so much time!! I don’t know what’s the best way to teach a particular topic or to help children learn it with the easiest method!

I have surely made mistakes but my boss has reassured me multiple times about it. Everybody messes up at the beginning. There is a saying in italian that says: “Nessuno nasce imparato” that roughly translates into: “Nobody is born already knowing everything”.

After my four hours of teaching I am devastated. I put so much effort into it and it drained me. For the first months, I used to get really bad headaches. I was so tense and nervous!

I’ve been tutoring people for two years, but that’s a completely different experience. I usually speak in italian and we mainly do homework, grammar and exercises. Yes, this is the wonderful italian school system. Facts, facts, facts and information, information, information.

Anyway, with these 3 classes and these young children, the approach is completely different. I speak english all the time and I have a text-book. But the most striking difference is the number of students! Six isn’t that big of a number, but it kind of is when you are used to being face-to-face with only one person at the time.

My english binder has increased exponentially in the past three months and I have a whole new list of bookmarks dedicated to the english language.

What I’m taking from this experience is that teaching is the way to go. It’s what I had planned for me and I am thrilled that it’s the right path for me.

xxx

Georgia

I did it!

I passed my english exam.

I’ve literally just found out! I ran to my mom sobbing and mumbling: “I passed the exam! I got a 28/30!”

After that, I stood there for 10 minutes sheding litres and litres of tears. My mom and I talked some more, about my uni life and the choices I have to make in the next months.

Aside from that, I texted my friend to meet me saturday for our traditional celebratory smoothie and I am trying to be more positive. Tomorrow I’m supposed to go to a class and it’s killing me. I have to attend this one, because it’s about poetry in the 16th Century. SO BORING. I’m not really interested in that. I was hoping in more victorian books.

Today I’m going to pay my fee and go for a driving lesson. Despite my numbness regarding everything, I am tying to survive.