30

One done. One more to go.

I took one of the two exams I’ve been studying for and I got 30.

(FYI, It’s the highest mark. I don’t know how the other universities in the world use as a scale).

It was an oral exam about a 17th century poet, John Donne, and for some reasons Shakespeare’s King Lear.

I was such a nervous rack in the days before the exam! I had gigantic spots on my face and my back, I felt a huge weight on my chest that made breathing normally a little bit difficult.

I haven’t had the best university experience. Due to a variety of personal problems and struggles. I’ve dedicated a large portion of this blog to that and I’ll leave the links at the end of this post if you want to check them out.

But, yeah…. I did it! And I didn’t even cry! NOT FUCKING ONCE!

I wasn’t expecting such a good mark but I’m proud of myself. Yes, I’m saying it. I am proud of what I’ve accomplished.Risultati immagini per lorelai i despise academics gif

But it has put me in a happier and more willing mood to continue my academic career even if, as Lorelai Gilmore eloquently put it, I despise academics.

I hope I’ll keep this up and I won’t fall in the spiral that brought me down last time.

Anyway… I GOT 30!!!!!!!!!!



Here is the list of all my uni related posts. Most include some sort of mental breakdown. You’ve been warned!

21st Sept 2016 – First Year At Uni

6th Dec 2016 – Taking a Break

9th March 2017 – Letting It All Out

15th April 2017 – Missing Two Trains, University Stuff and headaches

19th June 2017 – Failure

8th Aug 2017 – It’s Back

9th Sept 2017 – Trouble at Uni, exams and breakdown

 

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2017 Reading Wrap-up and 2018 Reading Goals

Sooooo… it’s 2018! Personally, I don’t care whether it’s 2017 or 2018. It’s still the same. No difference whatsoever. The only exception is that my goodreads reading challenge has started again.

I’m here to do my reading wrap-up for 2017 and share some of the reading goals I want to achieve this year.

At the beginning of 2017 I set my challenge at 30 books and by June I had already accomplished it! So I set it again for 50 and I managed to read 55!

I’m quite happy about that and Booktube has motivated me so much to read and talk more about literature.

Here you can see all the stats for my 2017 reading challenge!

The second part of the year was amazing! I read some of my favourite books, both fiction and non-fiction.

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I read 3 autobiographies, 5 Shakespeare plays, 2 Stephen King’s HUGE novels, 3 Harry Potter books, 3 collections of poetry, 1 Canadian, 1 russian, 1 american, 1 german and 6 british literature Classics, 3 books about US politics, 2 Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie essays and a ton of contemporary literature.

Frankly I’m quite impressed. Forgive me for being a bit smug but I am proud of my list.

There are still books I wasted my time on, books I read just because I had them on my digital shelf and some books I’ve read two times because of university!


For my 2018 goals, I want to read something that has meaning. Not just the first book whose cover I fancy.

For the first part of the year, I didn’t have goals or interests. I just wanted to get back into reading. But from June to December, I read books I was genuinely interested in. I’ll try to keep that up in 2018 and DNF those books I don’t like. (and yet the first book I finished in 2018 was a horrendous, stupid and idiotic chick-lit I will be removing from my memory).

Aside from that, in 2018 I’d like to read more feminist related books: essays, poetry, collections of short stories and more.

I’d like to read more books about US politics (I have my eyes on a newly released book about collusion with the russians and I’m trying to get my mom to buy it for me).

Something else I’d like to read are books with strong female protagonist, books about mental health, about racism and sexism and about characters that are different from me.

To be specific, there are a 5 books I’m looking forward to:

Hillary Rodham Clinton, “Living History

Luke Harding, “Collusion. How Russia Helped Trump Win The Election.”

All of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s publications

Ian McEwan, “Atonement

Julia Baird, “Victoria: The Queen: An Intimated Biography of the Woman who Ruled an Empire”

Let me know what books you’ve loved this year and if you have any recommendation!

xxx

Georgia

TEACHING – Three Months as a Teacher

This time I want to talk about my job.

I can’t believe being a teacher is my actual job this year. I am currently teaching 3 classes at private studio in my town and I’m loving it.

It’s so hard and given my non-existent experience, I was petrified at the beginning. And even now, after 3 months, I’m no completely accustomed to it.

It takes so much time!! I don’t know what’s the best way to teach a particular topic or to help children learn it with the easiest method!

I have surely made mistakes but my boss has reassured me multiple times about it. Everybody messes up at the beginning. There is a saying in italian that says: “Nessuno nasce imparato” that roughly translates into: “Nobody is born already knowing everything”.

After my four hours of teaching I am devastated. I put so much effort into it and it drained me. For the first months, I used to get really bad headaches. I was so tense and nervous!

I’ve been tutoring people for two years, but that’s a completely different experience. I usually speak in italian and we mainly do homework, grammar and exercises. Yes, this is the wonderful italian school system. Facts, facts, facts and information, information, information.

Anyway, with these 3 classes and these young children, the approach is completely different. I speak english all the time and I have a text-book. But the most striking difference is the number of students! Six isn’t that big of a number, but it kind of is when you are used to being face-to-face with only one person at the time.

My english binder has increased exponentially in the past three months and I have a whole new list of bookmarks dedicated to the english language.

What I’m taking from this experience is that teaching is the way to go. It’s what I had planned for me and I am thrilled that it’s the right path for me.

xxx

Georgia

Hugging

Today my mom hugged me. And not in a congratulatory “Happy Birthday” or “Happy New Year” way. We hadn’t hugged like that since that morning in high school, when I basically had a breakdown in the bathroom.

This time, we stumbled upon each other in the kitchen and she hugged me.

So of course, I’ve been crying for 20 minutes. I don’t know what happened, she put her arms around me and tear came out of my eyes.

I haven’t had the best weekend, counting the days until I HAVE to go back to Uni. I was supposed to go today. But last night while I was watching the Emmys I couldn’t keep my heart beat down. I felt something on my chest, something that suffocated me and my heart kept pounding. It took me quite a long time to make it stop.

At 4.30AM I wrote to the friend I was supposed to meet at the train station that I got a bug my little cousin had yesterday at lunch. She was sick. I am not. I couldn’t help by lie. I know that it’s horrible, but I can’t talk to people. I can’t tell them what I truly feel.

Anyway, I didn’t go and I’ve been feeling like shit all day. Extremely happy about the Emmys, but basically dead inside. It’s all a “guilt” problem. That I already knew.

But getting hugged by my mom was what sent me over the edge. She is not a very physical person. Aside from a pat (it’s more like an affectionate slap, actually on the leg, we don’t really touch.

I don’t know what’s happening to me.

While we were hugging in the middle of the kitchen, my sister came in. I couldn’t let her see me cry. I think she knows that something isn’t right. I think she might have seen me cry a couple of times. When I couldn’t hide it. She hasn’t said anything, thought. What could she say?

I’ll be trying to go to Uni on Wednesday, since there is English 3. And that shouldn’t cause me any stress. As if.

I’m going to lay down now. I already feel the post-crying-headache coming on.