Brooklyn Nine-Nine is still managing to make me fall more in love with Captain Holt.
HE REALLY HATES MADELAINE WUNTCH AND
HE IS SO PETTY!
On a side note, I love how the writers and the production team have managed to hide Melissa Fumero’s pregnancy. In season 3 they incorporated it into the storyline by making Amy go to prison undercover as a pregnant lady and this time, with a really really big choir gown.
This episode was so much fun and Holt’s insults to Madelaine were AMAZING and YES, I’ll be writing them all down.
Now, let’s get into the episode!
Jake, Terry, and Charles
Jake has tickets for “Kwazy Kupcakes: The Movie”!!! I am so glad this game made a comeback. The episode in which Captain Holt gets obsessed with it was HILARIOUS and it had come back before in passings. So of course they’d bring it back as a movie, because nowadays literally everything gets turned into a movie.
He has 4 tickets and he doesn’t know who to give the tickets to: Terry or Charles?
So they spend the entire episode trying to bribe Jake, bullying him and asking him questions about whose kids he likes best.
Jake proposes to cut the ticket in half like that “Bible thing” so one of them will step back and they’ll decide for themselves. Let’s just say… it doesn’t go according to plan.
Then both Charles and Terry bring the children into work. Also, Terry is able to fold a coin in half.
After literally bribing him with checks and silver coins, Jake decides to leave it up to them. But they choose to settle it in the ring.
Turns out, Nana Boyle taught Charles the best movie: the strawberry basket. A punch to the balls.
Jake ends up making an important choice: he is going to be the one taking the kids to the movie premiere and leaving Charles and Terry at home.
That means… FREE BABYSITTER!
Holt, Amy, and Rosa
Yes, Madeline Wuntch is dead and Holt is not equipped with that either. My favourite thing about all of this: he managed to drag Rosa into it!
Amy is having a hormonal reaction to the fertility medications she’s taking and it seems like she’s the only one in the group that has a somehow normal reaction upon hearing about Wuntch’s death.
I mean… the Captain took selfies with her in the coffin so the bar is pretty low.
He even starts throwing bagels to coworkers around the office shouting: “Wuntch is dead!”. But he receives an email from Madeline Wuntch with the subject line: “It’s not over.”. In the email, there’s a video of Madeline instructing Holt to take care of her memorial service and she knows he won’t be able not to insult her in front of the whole NYPD.
But he wrote a speech. A 20-page speech in all caps (so he remembers to yell). Then he tries to say the opposite of whatever he’s thinking:
THE BALLOON ARCHES ARE BACK!
That’s my favourite gag EVER. At Rosa and Pimento’s almost wedding, Holt obsession with his balloon arches became my favourite gag. When he says: “to the nearest balloon store” I always start laughing like a maniac. I’m so glad they brought them back.
While Holt, Rosa and Amy try to turn what looks like a birthday party for Madeline into a memorial service, Holt meets Madeline’s real nemesis, who at first seems to be on Holt’s side, then he upsets the Captain because he had always thought HE was Madeline’s biggest enemy, but he turns out to be her nephew!
But Holt was one step ahead of him! It wasn’t a real memorial! It was all a hoax! All the people there were improv actors!
At the real memorial, Holt gives a sincere toast to her.
Captain Holt insults Madeline Wuntch
What does that human blister want now?
Perhaps she’ll transfer me to the swamps of New Jersey so I can patrol the sinkhole where she spawned.
Maybe Madeline wants to inform us all that she’s a Cheuksin. […] A Korean toilet ghost, lives in a outhouse, wraps her hair around your throat and chokes you to death while you move your bowels.
As Wuntch says when she sees deodorant: “I’m not buying it.”
Zombies can’t die! This is some sort of scam. If she were dead, we would be hearing the sounds of children singing in the streets.
The same reason she visits Mexico once a year and sucks the blood from all the goats
You don’t feel sad when a monster dies in a monster movie.
Why? In case I run into her family? I’m not planning any trips to the Bronx Zoo
Wuntch was not able to claw through her coffin and write the email herself.
If it shows Madeline, be sure not to look directly into her eyes. […] Because her eyes are ugly.
Rosa: Judging by the flames around her, it could be a livestream.
As God said when Wuntch tried to sneak past the gates into heaven, “It ain’t happening, honey”
I despised her with my entire being while she was only despising me with a fraction of hers?
That witch ruined my life!
I wasted half my life hating that duplicitous hag and she didn’t even have the decency to truly hate me back.
For a moment there, I almost forgot who the real villain was. The woman who recently died.
Madeline Wuntch will noot soon be forgotten. Trick or Treaters will dress like her for generations.
Amy: For the last 20 years, your lives have been entangled. / Holt: Because of her ratty hair.
Dan Goor and the writers have decided to surprise us! A WEEK AFTER “TRYING“!
JAKE AND AMY ARE HAVING A BABY!!!
And Charle’s reaction made it all so perfect!
I AM SO HAPPY FOR THEM!
Holt and ALL CAPS
Dark Holt and Dark Rosa are a deadly team
Nikolaj goes to tailoring classes
Holt even took a trip to Korea only to research a new insult for Madeline. That’s what I call committment.