Riverdale – s04 ep05 – “Chapter Sixty-One: “Witness for the Prosecution” – REVIEW

I don’t say it often when talking about Riverdale but… I got bored. This episode bored me to death.

I did not give a shit about ANY of the storylines. Nothing. Zero. I could not give any less of a shit about what was happening to the characters.

I find it incredibly frustrating because I was so into the first 5 or 6 episodes of season 3 and, aside from the MASTERPIECE IN TRASH TELEVISION that was episode 3: Dog Day Afternoon, I have not been able to connect with this current season.

Am I alone in this?

Hopefully not… but let’s not waste any more time and let’s talk about the ridiculous mess that was this episode! (with a few silver lightings!)

Nobody Cares About Archie’s Rec Centre and People Need To Understand This

Caring about Archie’s storylines has always been difficult for me. But I think that this one has reached a whole new level of disinterest for me.

I cared about his music career (which has vanished into thin air), I did not care about whatever was going on with him in season 2, the boxing drove me insane and now, we have A REC CENTRE ON TOP OF BOXING?!?

How am I supposed to care about that? Tell me. Because I can’t.

The Serial Killer Gene… What a Bunch of Crap

This makes so sense. None at all. Let’s break this down in bullet points:

NUMBER 1: If she can identify serial killers just by looking at them, how come she didn’t realize her own father was one?

NUMBER 2: So both FP and Hal are carriers of the serial killer gene? Because if it’s Alice’s gene, it doesn’t make sense. It just doesn’t.

NUMBER 3: Why is Charles so weird?

NUMBER 4: Why is The Farm still haunting Betty and how did Polly know that Hal forced Little Betty to put Caramel out of her misery?

NUMBER 5: Why isn’t Betty seeing a real therapist? She’s got these repressed feelings and memories she should address.


Historically, relationships between parents and their children have been abysmal (aside from Fred and Archie).

But if there’s one thing I’ve loved on this show is FP and Jughead’s development: from distant and alcoholic dad to present and engaged father who has also become the Sheriff of the town.

I’ve loved how they’ve changed and adapted to each other and finally learntedwho to express their feelings.

In this episode, FP’s initial refusal to talk about his abusive father was the only aspect of this episode I loved. I was so curious to find out what was bothering him.

Even though he has terrible memories of his dad, he still talks about him to Jughead, as a way to help him understand he has to be better than the original FP.

I really want to understand the background story, why FP I dropped out of school and if he actually ghost-wrote any of the stories Little Jughead used to love.

Now, I’ll do something I don’t often do: predict. What if this serial killer gene is linked to FP I? And what if Charles knows stuff about his grandfather?

I guess we’ll have to keep watching…

Charles Cooper… Who is he?

FOLLOW HIM BETTY. I was so relieved when Betty started following him in the end! Surveil him, girl!

Find out what he is all about!

Daddy has two “mijas”?

Hermosa Lodge has arrived and she’s an evil carbon copy of Veronica. I’m still shocked Veronica didn’t know about her but I’m wondering whether or not Hermione did.

I don’t know what to say about her other than “We’ll see…”

Oh, and I guess DADDY IS OUT OF PRISON! Things are about to get a lot more difficult for Veronica.

Alice Cooper is back!

Alice Cooper is back wearing her journalist clothes and she’s back to the season 1 version of herself, without the emotional abuse towards her daughters.

It’s a family of investigators and I cannot help but stan.

Riverdale and the Murder of Jughead Jones

In the last scene of the episode, FP barges into a classroom and declares the arrest of Veronica, Archie, and Betty for the murder of Jughead and… something is not right.

It just isn’t. Also, the scene looked weird, kind of staged, like it wasn’t really part of the show, although it has the same vibe.

On top of that, Jughead is tasked to write a story about the perfect murder and the winner will become the ghostwriter of the books he dearly loves.

I feel like the writers are messing with us and in the mid-season finale it will all be revealed as a scam.

Honorable Mentions

Archie gets pepper sprayed and I love it. Serves you right. For being an insufferable person.

Betty’s green eyes!

Shirtless Archie Scenes: 0 (AGAIN?!? WHAT?! What happened in the writers’ room? Are they okay?)

This is a mess. I can’t figure out what the big thing of the season is and it’s bothering me. I guess it’s Jughead’s apparent murder but… I am not so sure about it.

Maybe this is the only time I can actually see myself trying to come up with theories about this flashforward. The point is: no matter how much I think about it, I will never be as ridiculous and trashy as what the writers have come up with.

Any theory you’d like to share? Do you think Jughead is really dead?

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