I feel like nothing happened in this episode and yet… Cheryl buried and then dug up Jason again, Charles might be evil, Veronica set fire to a man and Archie dressed up like an idiot and oh yeah, JUGHEAD WAS LOCKED IN A COFFIN IN THE MIDDLE OF A CLASSROOM!
Oh, and speaking of Jughead… there’s a flashback and we see him lying on a table in what I imagine is Dr. Curdle Jr’s morgue and… well… he’s dead.
SO YEAH, SHIT HAPPENED IN THIS EPISODE!
But let’s break it down:
Archie Has Become a Vigilante and I hate it
They just couldn’t let him do something normal. He had to be the fucking hero of the situation.
He fights drug dealers and tries do protect some Riverdale kids by throwing a Halloween party.
Cheryl and the Creepy Doll
Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.
What the hell is this!? But most of all…
WHY IS TONI SO OKAY WITH IT?
There’s a corpse living in her house and she’s mildly upset. She does not seem that bothered by it and it upsets me.
Threatened by some ghost stories about Cheryl eating her twin in the womb and him coming back to haunt her. I cannot deal with this. I hope they’ll address her mental issues because this is going too far.
And please, do not let this be a therapist who ends up being a serial killer or a psychopath harvesting organs.
The Never-Ending Suffering Of Betty Cooper
Leave my poor Betty alone. People are dressing up as The Black Hood and The Gargoyle King and she’s receiving weird phone calls from her dead serial killer father.
And sure, you might want us to believe it was Polly but WHY IS CHARLES SURVEILLING HER?
Why is Charles listening to Betty and Jughead’s conversations? Who is he looking for? Betty or Jug? Given the flashforward with the burning of the beanie and the disappearance of Jughead, we can’t exclude the possibility that Charles might be involved in this.
Jughead and His Lighter
Jughead gets stuck in a casket for a night. Because it’s a traditional prank. A sort of initiation to the school.
Fuck these assholes.
Speaking of fire…
Veronica sets fire to a person and I love it.
The VHS Tapes
Someone is pointing a camera at people’s houses, spying them, recording it and then leaving it at their doorsteps.
And it’s creepy as hell.
Thinking rationally for a second, even though this is Riverdale, there can’t be another serial killer. We in our 4th season and for three, we’ve had murderers and serial killers.
This is not “Murder, She Wrote“, this is not Cabot Cove and they are not Jessica Fletcher: none of them have her personality, charisma and moral indignation.
We can’t have another assassin in the town. Please,
anything else something else but not this again.
Reggie and Kevin go against the Principal, whose name, I would like to remind you again, is Mr Honey.
Shirtless Archie Scenes: 0 (WHAT?! What happened in the writers’ room? Are they okay?)
Weirdly, I’m not connecting with this season. At all. I was so excited about the first episodes of season 3 and with this one… I’m just not into it as much.
Are you liking it so far? Any thoughts?