Riverdale Season 3 Storylines that Made ZERO Sense

I have come to the realization that so much happened in season 3 of Riverdale that I can’t keep it straight in my head. And despite the picture of the Gargoyle King in the Header, that is not one of the weirdest things that went on on the show.

I have been trying to write about Riverdale for some time and it was all so confusing! All of this to say: a rewatch is needed.

But no matter how ridiculous it all was, there are things I can’t erase from my memory: ridiculous lines, stupid story development, and so much damn boxing.

SO MUCH DAMN BOXING

I’m going on the record: I. DON’T. WANT. TO. SEE. ANY. MORE. BOXING. SCENES. IN. SEASON. FOUR.

They are boring, super long and nobody cares about them. NOBODY.

Also wasn’t Hiram into wrestling in season 2? And how he’s suddenly a boxing champion?

I have to remind myself not to think too much about the storylines on this show.

I just can’t bring myself to care about Archie’s thoughts and dreams about being a pro: and I’m not a fool. I know it’s just an excuse to see KJ without a shirt on.

He’s super buff and he obviously puts a lot of work into it but… I just don’t care. I can understand having him box once every couple of episodes but NOT EVERY SINGLE ONE.

Please, writers, I beg you. Stop it.

CHONI

Honestly, I don’t even want to talk about this because it makes me so fucking angry.

The treated them like shit. They treated Cheryl like shit and they still haven’t given Toni a backstory.

Let’s go on a tangent: at the beginning of the season, they’re happy, then all of a sudden, they’re cat burglars (literally. It’s in ep 09. Check it out.), then they get kicked out of the Serpents and they start their own gang. The writers have them break up because they needed the conflict for the Musical Episode, then it’s all about the Farm and now they’re taking care of her dead brother’s babies (and said brother’s corpse is in a room in her house).

Like… WTF?!?

Please, let Cheryl go to therapy and let’s give them better storylines. Because this is shit.

VERONICA’S INEXISTENT INDEPENDENT STORYLINE

It was all about Archie. Then Daddy. And then Mommy Dearest.

What I loved about Veronica in season 3 was seeing her being a badass boss lady in charge of her SpeakEasy, making decisions and fighting off every threat.

Reminder: she’s 17. To me, the fact that she owns a diner and she’s in charge of everything is weird. Or maybe I’m jealous because I’d like to be even a fraction as cool as she is.

Still, her storyline revolved all about Archie, at least in the first part of the season and then Daddy. Maybe I’m seeing it from the wrong angle but I would have loved for her to have more time as an individual instead of someone else’s appendix.

WHERE THE FUCK DID ETHEL GO?

No seriously, where was she?

THE FARM

I would have perfectly understood if the farm was a scheme to rob people of their money but…

HARVESTING ORGANS?!

One of Riverdale’s main characteristics is that they have an already far-fetched idea that is then taken to the next level, rendering it completely absurd.

Hypnosis? SURE

Seeing your dead brother? OKAY. OKAY.

Being almost downed by your own daughter so you can be birthed again? WELL, IF YOU THINK THAT’S A GOOD IDEA I GUESS… ALRIGHT.

But on top of all of this HARVESTING ORGANS?

COME ON RIVERDALE!


And yet, I’m still here. And I’m still looking forward to season 4. (Although there are things I already don’t agree with. But let’s not talk about that. That’s another blog post.)

No matter how much I criticize this ridiculous show, I still love it. It’s stupid fun and (aside from Archie because I can’t stand him), I love the characters.

I’d love for you to share the first ridiculous thing that comes to your mind when I say: “Riverdale Season 3”. Leave a comment down below or find me on Twitter or Tumblr. I’m always here to talk shit (and not) about Riverdale.

Thanks for reading,

Georgia

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