It’s two years later and I’m back with Pretty Little Liars. I have not watched the show since. I do not remember anything that has happened so far in the season so it’s gonna be fun.
Listen, I’ve talked trash about the show, I’ve started watching Riverdale… A lot can change in 2 years. What is objectively impossible for me to change is how much I hated how this show ended. I’m gonna be honest with you. This was garbage. This was way worse than season 8 of Game Of Thrones.
Anyway, let’s get into it because I know I’m gonna have a blast trying to piece all of this together.
Aria has a body in the trunk of her car. Sure. Normal stuff.
I did not have the John Oliver sarcastic gif two years ago but NOW IT’S HERE!
Apparently, Mona is behind all of this and Aria is MIA and talking to the corpse. Ezra is pissed and his relationship with Aria is slightly more appropriate now. Because she’s finally of age. God how could they think this was okay. You can’t curse or show women’s nipples but hey!, a teacher having a relationship with a minor and passing it for love? SURE! That’s totally fine!
Spencer is meeting Mary Drake, who is her mother, right? Do we already know that? I think we do… I’m confused.
Oh, wait! Alison is pregnant!
So Hannah and Caleb are following Mona for some reason I still don’t get. Oh, because she’s working with A! Sure. Somebody stole the “game” from Mona and she’s pissed.
And they find tunnels behind the ladies’ room of a diner? Like… how is this show even real?
I have a Master’s degree in American literature. There’s nothing I can’t handle.
I LAUGHED SO HARD. SO FREAKING HARD.
This show is hilarious. Erza, consider a career in stand up comedy. Please, I beg you.
Mona has everything all confused. She thinks Hannah is Charlotte and now they’re both on top of the tower from where Charlotte fell off.
And just as she was about to push Hannah off the balcony, Caleb and Spencer arrive. But Mona has confessed about killing Charlotte!
They get the final two pieces of the puzzle and when they complete it, a bell rings! And my mind immediately went:
*read in Jon Lovett’s voice*: Liars, you’ve won the game! And a Parachute’s gif card!”
I listen to too much Lovett Or Leave It (which I obviously recommend if you’re interested in American politics.)
Back to the show! They have to dig a hole under Charles’ tombstone for some reason but they refuse to play.
But the FBI is here! Ready to arrest them!
They’re going down! Or… are they?
Mary Drake takes the blame for them, confessing everything to the FBI agent!
Not only Archer Dunhill’s murder but her own sister as well! And the FBI doesn’t care shit. They just need someone to blame. That’s cool. None of the liars are going to jail.
But Mona didn’t actually kill Charlotte! She spares her life but she attacked her and bumped her head on the wall, exactly where a broken pipe was coming out.
Aaaaand the game is over.
Just. Like. That.
Or is it? I mean, we know it’s not over. There’s still an hour and a half long episode after this.
Let’s not kid ourselves.
“A” driving off into the sunset made me laugh so much. That was just ridiculous.
It’s done. I feel like nothing has happened on this episode but apparently everything was resolved! Mary took the fault from them, saving them from jail and “A” blackmailing them and they found out what happened to Mona. AND disposed of a body.
I know what happens in the next episode. I saw it two years ago and I’ve been angry about it ever since. Get ready for some rage.