I loved this episode. I really did.
I loved it. It was stupid, weirdly scary and boring (the Archie bits because…. duh.)
This episode marks the last scenes Luke Perry ever shot and it was so sad.
But without much further ado, let’s get into it.
Apparently, Josie is leaving Riverdale! Her dad comes back to town and she asks him to join him on tour and after a rendition of Amy Winehouse’s “Back To Black” (in which the replaced the word “dick” with “lips”), he officially invites her to come with him.
I’ll miss Josie. But I’m excited to see her in the next Aguirre-Sacasa/Berlanti production!
Archie and Veronica
Ok. I’ve been saying it for so many epiode but Veronica needs more independetn storylines. Betty has the Farm, Jughead has his mother, Archie has prison an boxing and she is just a sidekick in everybody’s big show.
The guy Archie fought in the last episode died and Elio is denying giving him drugs. COOL.
And this dumbass feels guilty because he know his opponent was “juicing” and he didn’t do anything.
But the little fucker didn’t through away the drugs that were given to him and so he gets arrested! AGAIN!
But Veronica pays his bail, he makes him and Mad Dog pee in a cup and then they get slammed by the dead man’s sisters.
Gladys, FP and Jughead
In the last episode, they kidnapped Jellybean and now the junkie drug dealer is forcing the remaining Jones to play G&G.
“Mrs Jones, you’ll be the alchimist.”
But I seemed to have figured out what the creeper’s name is!!! It’s Kurts! With an “s” and the end and a “K”!
I could just go look it up on IMDb but to be honest… I don’t give a shit. He’s a dick.
But Gladys is forced to reveal she’s the one who is has been making fizzle rocks, Walter White style.
And FP is livid.
But it’s time for…
QUEST NUMBER 1!!!
And FP gets injured. And then there were TWO!
QUEST NUMBER 2!
Mommy Dearest and Jughead have to fight… you guessed it…. PENNY PEABODY! She’s back!
And now Mommy Dearest is injured. And then there was ONE!
QUEST NUMBER 3!
Choose one of two doors! But Jellybean is not there! But he gets locked in one of these wood cases, he gets out and guess what??
SOMEBODY SHOT KURTS AND HE’S DEAD NOW.
And The Gargoyle King is there as well! But like the good brother he is, Jughead chooses his sister.
And then Jughead talks to his mom… He even asks her to stay, which is like.. no, honey. No. Sweetheart, you’re better off without her. She needs to change her act and then they can be a family.
But Jellybean stays!!! YAAAAY! I’m exicted to see where her storyline is going this and next season
She has to deal with her serial killer father poisoning her brain and a mother and a sister who have literally destroyed her life.
HASN’T SHE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH?!
She asks Daddy for a favor: transfer her father from his max security prison to Hiram’s. And that’s already so fucking suspicious.
But she’s set on unveil the truth behind the Farm and Evelyn, who, by the way…
… DOESN’T BELIEVE IN VACCINES.
And she goes it! Turns out: every school Evelyn has been to in the past, she attended as a Junior.
Apparently, Edgar wants to marry Alice and adopt Dagwood and Juniper as his kids.
HOW MESSED UP IS THAT?!
Betty goes to Penelope Blossom for help. PENELOPE. The woman who destroyed Cheryl’s life. We got to the place where THIS is the better option. Penelope manages to struck a deal with Edgar: she gets to keep the boy but not the girl.
And she calls him “Jason Junior” which is just super weird.
Evelyn is actully 26 andd not Edgar’s daughter but his wife. And Alice knows about it! Because when Betty tries to kidnap Juniper, Toni betrays her and the entire Farm tries to force Betty to join them.
AND THAT’S SUPER CREEPY.
Her esitation to saying no scared me. It really did. But as soon as she remembers what she saw in her “allucination” in the season premiere, she bolts.
And these weirdos follow her and they start running after her, banging on her car windows with crazy eyes.
And that’s not over! Betty gets back to the Pembrooke (which is where she is still living, appparently. I was kind of wishing she had moved in with the Jones’) and BIG NEWS ALERT!
During Hal’s transport to Daddy’s prison, there was an accident and there were no survivors.
As if I’m going to believe Hal Cooper, The Blackhood, is dead.
This is hilarious!
Do you think Hal is dead? Are you happy Gladys is gone? Do you have any idea about who the person behind all of this mess is?