I Can’t Drink Coffee Anymore and It Sucks

I can’t drink coffee anymore. I love it and I can’t have it.

I’ve been without it for months and every time I see people around me drinking it, I go crazy.

In highschool I used to drink the 4 cups moka by myself, at 3pm. It gave me energy for the intensive afternoon studying session.

And then it became an habit, especially after I started going to university. I started drinking it in the morning, after lunch and, in the past year, after dinner as well.

I became a coffee snob, I bought only the expensive kind I liked, then I switched to the even more expensive one from Colombia. And it was so good.

It was the highlight of my day.

But this year, around September, I started noticing I was a lot more anxious whenever I drank it.

It made my heart beat faster, it made me feel like a had a huge weight on my chest. Breathing was hard. I couldn’t keep my anxiety in check, it made my entire body tingle. I felt like my body was detached from me.

And all of a sudden, I stopped drinking it.

Now, I’ve been coffee free since November and I miss it. Oh, I miss it so much.

To be honest, I’ve had a couple of cups since then. Once at a café: I was having breakfast with my friend and I totally forgot I couldn’t drink it. So, out of habit, I ordered a capuccino.

And it was a terrible idea.

I tried it once more another day and I couldn’t fall asleep and I felt like a couldn’t breathe. So yeah…

I can’t drink it anymore.

I hope my anxiety will eventually allow me to have it again, at least in the morning.

I just miss it. I want it so bad and I can’t hve it.

Tweet at me, find me on Tumblr or send me an email.



3 thoughts on “I Can’t Drink Coffee Anymore and It Sucks

  1. I relate to this so hard! I unfortunately had to stop drinking it due to it worsening my anxiety, but I miss it so much. It was so handy for waking me up in the morning to go to lectures and keeping me awake at night to finish off essays. Guess we will save some money not buying it though! x

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s