Riverdale – s03 ep13 – “Chapter Forty-Eight: Requiem For a Welterweight” – REVIEW

Yeah… so… not my favourite episode. It was boring. SO BORING.

I waited 2 weeks for this? Nah thanks. Don’t worry, for once this is going to be a short review, not even in chronological order! Let’s shake things up a bit!


Archie

GOD I HATE ARCHIE!!! In the past two weeks, I had forgotten how much I hate this guy. He is so arrogant!

Sheriff Keller tells him he’s not ready to fight but he wants to do it anyway! He believes he can do it and without thinking, enters a fight with Veronica’s mobster friend Elio. For 5,000$.

Why can’t Archie just THINK before doing stuff?! He creates his own problems!

So then he doesn’t wanna fight anymore, some more stuff happens but at the end, he asks Keller to help him, he fights and he has sex with Josie.

Cool. I don’t care.

Oh no wait! There’s one thing I care about.

CONTINUITY!

WHERE IS THE BURN MARK WARDEN NORTON GAVE HIM!?

They put the bear claws but no burn. Is that so hard? On Brooklyn99 they kept Hitchcock’s weird gun-in-his-mouth tattoo!!!

Jughead

Mommy Dearest is being a dick. Making him breakfast, buttering him up and then ordering him what to do.

She wants him to ask the Ghoulies to join the Serpents.

THE GHOULIES!

THE SAME GANG THAT BEAT UP HER SON! ALMOST TO DEATH!

But that isn’t even mentioned in the episode.

Juggie then asks FP to basically grant immunity to the Ghoulies so that they’ll join the Gang. Great. More corruption.

Some guy named Curtis has taken over the Ghoulies who are still deep in G&G. It all looks like an abandoned building where meth heads go do drugs.

But LOOK WHAT’S ON THE WALL BEHIND JUGHEAD:

Joaquin, the Prison Warden, Dilton Boyley and another one I can’t make out.

We are living a prophecy. And you are all just sacrifices wating to be made. The Gargoyle King lives. He will decide and he will choose. Only the worthy will ascend.

This Curtis guy

He can’t convince him but guess what? Mommy Dearest can! Why is she so horrible?!

I don’t care about Gladys. I just hope Jug doesn’t get hurt and that Jellybean gets out of her mother’s grip

Betty and the Farm

Leave Betty alone, writers. Leave her alone.

I can’t believe Alice has gone THIS crazy! What the fuck is wrong with her? She tries to find more about the Farm and the people who escaped from it because her idiotic brainwashed mom plans to be “baptised”.

To quote 30 Rock’s Jack Donaghy: “Good God Alice”.

And her dress is ugly as fuck.

And now Kevin is joining the Farm.

You shouldn’t be so ready to see the worst in people, Betty. It’s not healthy.

Kevin

Where has he been living all this time? Has he seen what has happened to her? This was just stupid.

Oh good. The bunker is back. Sex, death, secret meetings… What more could happen in that underground shithole?

So this woman, Martha talks about the Farm’s “ascension” beliefs… Just like G&G… I knew there was a connection there!

WE BEEN KNEW!!!

Can we just talk about Murderous!Polly?!

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!

I guess it’s Polly who has Hal’s darkness and not Betty. (I hate myself for using that word. I really do.).

Can’t someone call social services? Polly has two children! Mmmm… But they can’t because all of the Cooper’s secrets would be revealed. Including the stashing of the body. Damn!

And after all of that, Alice had the courage to say this:

Lili Reinhart is a gem to this show and they don’t deserve her.

Veronica

Poor Veronica has to deal with two fuckers: Daddy and Gladys. She tried so hard to get away from her father’s shady deals, only to fall deeper and deeper into it.

Apparently, she’s now spying on Daddy and working with Gladys! She wants the family out of drugs but she’s got no problems doing other shady shit.

She’s backing up Daddy’s idea for the prison and he wants to get the Ghoulies under his control.

She tries to blackmail Gladys, but it backfires and Gladys threatens Hermione. *insert sarcastic “cool”*

So Gladys will handle the drugs, Hiram the prison and Veronica is an accomplice to all of this. Great.

Cheryl and Toni

Toni wants to be Queen and she fucking deserves it! Why would Betty care about being Queen? Is that so important to her?

IT HAS NEVER BEEN MENTIONED BEFORE.

What’s the problem with Toni being Queen? I don’t get it. And Jughead was a dick. I love him but he was a dick. “A vanity project”? Fuck you, man.

Cheryl is teaching archery. For whatever reason. And she assaults Sweet Pea and Fangs, who were pretty big misogynistic and sexist assholes.

But Toni put her in her place, like a true queen! (Like she deserves).

I hope they won’t break up but this whole “other gang” situation doesn’t make sense. And it’s ugly. And the writers are treating Cheryl and Toni in a terrible way.

It’s just insane.


“Don’t worry, for once this is going to be a short review”, she said. Now, 800 words later maybe it wasn’t that short. My record has to be “The Midnight Club“. SO MANY OPINIONS!

Anyway, it was a boring episode. I got distracted so many times. The storytelling was sloppy and nobody fucking cares about Archie and his boxing career.

It was just a boring and useless filler episode.

Let me know your thoughts on the episode! Did you find it just as boring as I did? What about Choni and the whole Pretty Poison thing?

Tweet at me, find me on Tumblr or send me an email.

xxx

Georgia


5 thoughts on “Riverdale – s03 ep13 – “Chapter Forty-Eight: Requiem For a Welterweight” – REVIEW

  1. I didn’t feel much for anyone in this episode except for Betty. Betty is the only one who is sticking to her roots. She’s always investigating and I love it. She needs her own show. The Cooper Mysteries. I mean seriously I could watch her all day. She’s the best character on this show. I feel so bad for her and how her life is turning out.

    Also… RIP to Luke Perry. You should do a best of Fred Andrews blog post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I would totally watch a spin-off of Betty investigating stuff. Especially if Jughead makes an appearance once in a while!
      I feel terrible for her!

      RIP Luke Perry… I was so shocked and so sad. It’s such a good idea! Maybe in a while, I’ll do it. Right now seems a little bit soon but definitely! Thanks for the advice!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. OK so I’m finally catching up on Riverdale after taking a mourning-Luke-Perry break. I can’t read your other reviews yet because I haven’t watched the episodes, but I am looking forward to them!

    But here’s my question: What is “Serpent Queen?” I totally thought it was basically the comic-book-gangster equivalent of “First lady”: you’re married to the head honcho but can’t do anything. If Queen is a real thing and not just being the partner of the Serpent King, why tf would Betty ever be qualified? So weird!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad you’re back!

      About the serpent queen thing… I have literally no idea. I think it’s just the partner of the king. But if he’s gone, I don’t think she’s in charge. Listen, I don’t know. I don’t understand Riverdale and its logic. But I agree, she’s not qualified! It’s so weird. Let Toni be Queen please and thank you.

      Like

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