Riverdale – s03 ep 02 – “Chapter Thirty-Seven: Fortune and Men’s Eyes” – REVIEW

Oh, Riverdale… you did it again. I had the best time watching this scary, trashy and ridiculous show.

There was so much Bughead! Our favourite investigative duo is back together and it’s adorable.

Now, let’s get into it because I have so many opinions.

Archie gets processed in prison, the warden talks about the music room for some reason and tells him not to get into trouble. NO. SHIT. But wait…

THE HOT DADS OF RIVERDALE ARE READY FOR ACTION… but in the next episode. Maybe.

Skeet Ulrich, Luke Perry, and Martin Cummins in Riverdale (2016)

We find out Betty’s seizure is caused by “stress”. Like we fucking believe it. Again with Juniper and Dagweed. Poor children.

And Dilton is dead. Like, really dead. And Ben is a coma. At “The Blue and Gold”, Jughead tells Betty what he saw in the woods and it’s major True Detective flashbacks. (I have to re-watch season 1. It’s fantastic.)

And Bughead Investigations is back in business! In an interview, Cole Sprouse said it’s their kink. And he’s right. It really is.


Archie is bunking with this guy called “Mad Dog” and what does he do? HE STARTS TALKING!

Archie, you dumbass, you don’t ask cellmates private stuff?!
Have you never seen a tv show or movie where the main character is in jail?!


SHUT THE FUCK UP, you dink.

(I listened to two The Good Place The PodcastThe Good Place The Podcast episodes with Bad Janet. Blame her)

And Cheryl wants to become Student President, replacing Archie’s vacant seat.


I did not remember Joaquin being such a hard ass! Archie immediately shows off his “ink” and we find out Joaquin came back to town to help Fangs at the end of season 2 and he got caught during the riots! FUN!

Joaquin wants Archie to shiv a guy.


Archie, for the love of God, stop calling people “bro”.

The Medical Examiner (who looks remarkably similar to Bill Skarsgård) tells Bughead some facts about Dilton’s death and says:

“I’m not sure what it is but… whatever it is, it’s darker than what happened to Jason Blossom or what the Black Hood did. No, what we’re looking at here I believe is the true face of evil”.

Jughead is using a non-digital camera to shoot pictures and then he is in the darkroom to process them.


IS THIS THE 1960s?

Although it was nice to see Cole in his element.

Archie gets beaten up and Edgar Evernever’s creepy daughter freaks Betty out.

Zoé De Grand Maison in Riverdale (2016)

Moose is still deeply in the closet and not willing to be seen with Kevin by his father.

Am I supposed to know what an RROTC is? And why they are dressed in this stupid-ass uniform? Because I don’t get it.


At first I was like… why is Veronica working at Pop’s? And then Veronica itself reminded me she actually owns the place! But it ended up being a lovely moment between the two.

Cheryl is a viper but she comes through. 

Bughead is one the move! Finding creepy wooden stick dolls, confronting Sheriff Minetta and Ethel. And there is a missing kid!, who was part of Dilton’s group.

Ethel tells Bughead about Dilton’s bunker in the woods and they set to meet up.

Some more Archie bullshit…

Alice and FP confront Betty and Jughead about their investigation and Alice reveals to both men she had a seizure.

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Jughead and FP’s worried looks were absolutely adorbs.

Now onto the most Riverdale part ever. Archie making a bit speech in the middle of the prison’s outdoors “garden” about prison, other roads, sports, high school football…


No Goulies no Serpents. Love and peace.


Alice and Betty have a nice moment in her bedroom even if as soon as I saw this picture, I thought Jughead was going to climb in from the window or come out from under the bed sheets.

Lili Reinhart in Riverdale (2016)

But Betty sneaks out and meets him in the woods and it all gets weirdly inappropriate. They reminisce about the times when they first started dating



This things appears on screen! I’m like… WHAT. THE. FUCK.

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Some more Archie bullshit with Veronica and Mad Dog and…

Bughead is in Dilton’s bunker! And they find the missing kid!

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Scaring the bejesus out of Betty and me.

And the football came is here! With Veronica and the Vixens cheering on Archie.

This was stupid.

This was misogynistic.

It was wrong. On so many levels.

And what were the inmates doing with that gate?!

Oh look! Daddy shows up! And blocks Veronica from visiting Archie. All the inmates basically get beaten up by the guards and Archie yells:

“It’s a freaking ambush! Everybody run!”


And police brutality on a white kid!? Progressive, Riverdale! They tell Archie Mad Dog “died” even if he wasn’t even there.

For some reason, this happens:

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These people, you guys…

With only 5 minutes left, they start packing plot twist after plot twist.

Ethel starts having a seizure

The Prison Warden “taps” Archie and gives him the title of “Mad Dog”

There is a “Council of the Parents” that is weird as fuck. They made some kind of  vow in highschool never to talk about a certain secret they buried all those years before. And they seems to be revolving around the Gargoyle King.

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Apparently the “blue lips” aspect of Dilton’s death shook both Fred and FP. They made a pact never to revisit that night, or to mention it or to think about it.

Hermione Lodge said: “All of this is happening AGAIN.

Ben throws himself off the window right in front of Betty and Jughead, who had gone to the hospital to check up on him.

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He starts talking about “being with Dilton” and “ascending“, that they’ll be “reunited in the kingdom“, “part of his plan” and out the window he goes!

What is going on with the parents? What is the secret they’ve been keeping for years and years?

And this cult thing? And the seizures? And the game? I’m… I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.

Why would they do the football match and the jailhouse rock thing?! That was unbearable and fucking horrible

Let’s objectify women! Yay!

I can’t wait for the next episode. I saw the trailer and it looks great.


 I really really want to know what you think about the episode. Were you as outraged as I was about the Jailrock House thing?

Tweet at me, find me on Tumblr or send me an email.

I’m always up for swapping theories and impressions!





Riverdale – s03 ep01 – “Chapter Thirty-Six: Labor Day” – Season Premiere

[Attention! This post contains spoilers for the season premiere of Riverdale! Some swearing and also spoilers for the 6th season of Game Of Thrones]

It’s back! Riverdale is back!!!



I was entertained from beginning to end. Okay, I might have been quite busy ogling Jughead but COME ON!

I remember I was watching the trailer when it came out and when the gargoyle king, or what ever that thing is, I yelled: “That’s TRUE DETECTIVE SEASON 1”.
I loved that they went in this direction and I think this third season will benefit from it.


I was moved, I laughed, I had fun, I was scared, I was turned on… What more could you possibly want?
As soon as Archie sad: “I’m guilty“ I started clapping and I didn’t stop for like five minutes.

It was amazing I loved it.

Molly Ringwald, Skeet Ulrich, Luke Perry, Mädchen Amick, Robin Givens, Cole Sprouse, Ashleigh Murray, Lili Reinhart, Cody Kearsley, Jordan Connor, Camila Mendes, K.J. Apa, and Casey Cott in Riverdale (2016)

As soon as the episode was over, I felt the need to watch the next one. I binge watched season one and two, so I didn’t have to wait a week for another episode come out.

This year, my patience will be put to the test.

Seeing Jughead in suspenders for basically 45 minutes was the best thing that has ever happened to me. He was so incredibly hot and I was deeply attracted to him. To an almost pathological level.
Also, speaking of Jughead, he was eating for the entire episode. He always had something in his hand or in his mouth and he was chewing and eating and I loved it.

I feel like it spoke to the essence of the character.

Something else I absolutely adored was that Cheryl and Tony went on holiday while Archie was on trial for murder.

It’s exactly what I would have done because I cannot seem to be able to care for Archie.

I love that Betty and Jughead are finally communicating with each other, eye-fucking…

The Serpent Queen Is A Warrior Queen

they are the same page and they respect each other. Not that they didn’t before, but it was different. This time it feels more like they are a unit. I do hope that the writers will not divide them or break them up. Because my heart cannot handle that.

Speaking of Betty… I really thought she was seeing a therapist! And I am a little bit worried about her use of “Adderall”, Polly is a bitch and Alice has gone out of her mind. (And she was sitting next to FP at the trial. So… wink wink…)

And FP with his glasses on?

ADORBS! Him and the other Hot Dads of Riverdale fighting against Hiram and his allies.

And he gave her his precious hat!!! To quote Veronica… SWOON!!!

[Gif by betty-cooper.tumblr.com]

I loved SweetPea and Jodie together (It’s not gonna be only a summer fling. I would not have pictured them together but okay) , I was confused and weirded out by Kevin’s proposition to Moose to lose their virginity before Halloween. And poor Moose looked terrified!

What was that scene about?

I have barely mentioned Veronica… Sorry girl. She stood up to Hiram, she fought against him. Hermione’s lack of freedom made me sad. She is trapped in that life and she is liable to Hiram’s fury. He might turn against her: his daughter is his blood. His wife is not.

And it’s super sad.

And Archie?, you ask…

K.J. Apa in Riverdale (2016)

I am unbelievably happy that he has started to realise how much of a dick he was last season. He owned up to his mistakes and as he said, even if he wasn’t actually guilty of murdering the guy: he did some bad things.


Dilton’s attitude during the episode, Jughead’s weird voodoo findings and Betty’s hallucinations!!!

They underlined the fact that there are no supernatural elements to it, so… that we know! Although they might be pulling a Kit Harrington like: “Oh yeah. I’m super dead! I’m not coming back to season 6!”

And three episodes later:

Risultati immagini per jon snow comes back to life gif

I’m so curious to see how they are going to explore this aspect. They have a masterpiece like True Detective (season 1) to draw inspiration from.

I’m so proud that I made the connection before having it confirmed by the show runner. I might be a little smug about it….

It’s been such a long time I have felt this excited and giddy about fucking teenage drama and I’m living for this. I do hope the writers have learnt from their past mistakes (Betty stripping, weird sex stuff and weird characterisations) and I’m so excited to see what’s going to happen next.

What do you think might happen next? Do you think Archie and Veronica are going to break up? Who is the Gargoyle King? Will Alice come to her senses? Were you just as happy as I was to see Archie going to prison?

As always, feel free to tweet at me, find me on tumblr or email me!




Top 5 Riverdale Episodes – Romance, Trash and Ridiculousness

I’ve been talking obsessively about Riverdale for almost a week, leading up to the season 3 premiere.

I’ve seen every episode of the show multiple times and I am in love with it. I love how trashy it is and how I can get angry at character developments (or the lack of them).

In this post, I compiled a list of my favourite five Riverdale episodes, in no specific order and here they are!

Chapter 8: The Outsiders

Cole Sprouse and Lili Reinhart in Riverdale (2016)

I loved the baby shower. I don’t know why but I love this episode. I’ve seen it a million times. It’s Jughead and Betty’s first outing as a couple, almost all the Riverdale moms in one place, Gypsy Nana Rose and Archie being a dick.

It fits all the criteria of a great Riverdale episode.

Nathalie Boltt, Tiera Skovbye, Barbara Wallace, Asha Bromfield, Camila Mendes, Madelaine Petsch, and Hayley Law in Riverdale (2016)

Oh, and Cole Sprouse in a white tank top. Just saying. It’s… I’m… I have nothing more to say.

Chapter Fifteen: Nighthawks

This is such a fun and dark episode. These adjectives should not go together but Riverdale is probably the only show in which they do.

Archie is still dealing with his father’s shooting and Betty embarks on a quest to keep Pop Tate’s Chock Lit Shoppe open, even forcing Jughead to wear that ridiculous uniform.

Cole Sprouse, Lili Reinhart, and Madelaine Petsch in Riverdale (2016)

And we get introduced to the famous Riverdale drug which has the most adorable name ever: Jingle Jangle.

Alvin Sanders, Camila Mendes, and K.J. Apa in Riverdale (2016)

Uuuh! I almost forgot! Hiram Lodge tries to win back Veronica’s affections by showering her with gifts. And she pushes back! You go girl.

On top of that, all the characters learn that Miss Grundy was murdered.



Chapter Twenty-Five:  The Wicked and the Divine

bill hader snl GIF by Saturday Night LiveIn true Stefon’s fashion: this episode has everything: Veronica’s confirmation, Hiram’s grip on Archie gets stronger and Betty and Jughead go back to be Riverdale’s best detective duo.

It’s so fun. We see Archie digging himself deeper into Hiram’s shady business, his brainwash almost complete. Let’s not forget Archie beat up a guy (a fucking scumbag who roofied Cheryl and tried to force himself on Veronica) mercilessly.

Camila Mendes and K.J. Apa in Riverdale (2016)

And the fake FBI agent!!! Classic Riverdale nonsense.

Cole Sprouse and Lili Reinhart in Riverdale (2016)

Betty and Jughead get back together! Those 4- episodes they were broken up were the longest EVER!!! So boring!

Chapter Thirty-Four: Judgement Night

This was so dark. Betty’s suspicions are finally confirmed: her dad is “the Blackhood”! The reveal was so anticlimactic! I was so upset.

Mädchen Amick and Lili Reinhart in Riverdale (2016)

But aside from Hal, Jughead is beaten by an inch of his life by the Goulies. That. Was. Scary.

I obviously knew he was going to survive. What is Riverdale without Jughead? I mean… Come on.

And then the guys from the high school fighting the Serpents?! That was fun. Also, the hot dads coming to save the day!

Cody Kearsley, Jordan Connor, K.J. Apa, and Casey Cott in Riverdale (2016)

I loved this episode. There is so much tension and heartbreak and scary parts and… It’s a great first part of the finale (aside from the reveal of Hal’s true identity. That was stupid and I hated it. Why reveal it like that?! It made no fucking sense.)

Chapter Thirty-Five: Brave New World

Aside from having the same name as my favourite Fringe two-part episodes, this is amazing.

Luke Perry, Robin Givens, and K.J. Apa in Riverdale (2016)

Jughead recovers from his injuries, Betty is afraid of her fucking darkness (if I hear this word again, I’ll go to Toronto and punch the writers in the face), the results of the mayoral election are in and it seems like everything is going towards the right direction. Until Archie gets framed by Hiram.

I was so excited about Archie being arrested. I thought: “Finally! Get rid of him!

I was shocked but most of all excited. For me, it’s always entertaining to get sucked into the episodes and stay there for a while.

It’s not super cringy and it flows really well.

And can we talk about the look of pride on Toni’s face when Jugehead gives Cheryl the Serpent’s jacket? That was adorable. Oh!, and FP retires and Jughead becomes Serpent King. And Polly’s trying to get Alice to join her weird-ass cult?

I cannot watch to see the premiere of season 3! It’s going to be so trashy!

That’s it! Here are my faves!

Let me know if any of them are on your list! What are YOUR favourite riverdale episodes? Will you be watching the season 3 premiere on October 10th?

Tweet at me, find me on tumblr or send me an email! Let’s chat!




Riverdale Aspects That Made Me Super Mad

Second to last post!

And given the title, I should have written a lot more swear words than I did. I’m kind of surprise by this.

In case you haven’t, check out my other posts! Riverdale’s fanfition recommendation, cringy moments, the show’s weird characterization, the season 3 trailer breakdown and the many many reasons why Archie is an idiot.

Now let’s dive into the Riverdale’s aspects that made me super angry.


Risultati immagini per riverdale polly alice cooper

One of the things I hate the most about season 1, was the fact that nobody ever mentioned the word “abortion”.

When Polly reveals to her mother that her father had made an appointment to an abortion clinic for a procedure, the words “abortion”, “clinic” and “procedure” were never spoken.

It was left unsaid, unspoken.

I get that Alice might not have wanted to mention it in front of her daughter… actually no. I don’t get it.

If you’re “mature” enough to have sex, you should be “mature” enough to use the right terminology.

Pole Dancing

I’ve already talked about this particular scene in my post about the cring-y-est moments on Riverdale and it has to be mentioned again.

They recognize is as super misogynistic and sexist and yet they do it anyway! Don’t be fooled by Lili Reinhart’s age: Betty is 16 years old and she is stripping in front of adult men.

Why would they think that was appropriate? I don’t think they have portrayed a lot of healthy sexual relationships on the show.

The writers have to remember they are 16 and not 25.

Archie Being Gullible AF

Risultati immagini per archie hiram riverdale

I’ve dedicated two previous different posts to this. And it never gets old.

He is insufferable, he is an idiothe is an idiot and I cannot stand him. I hope season 3 will give him the opportunity of being less of a dick.

Hiram’s treatment of Hermione

Hiram and Hermione might be a united front but the loyalty is pretty much one-sided. Hermione plays the perfect mob wife and puts up with everything her devil of a husband throws at her.


Starting from the letter in which Hiram threatened Hermione to get Veronica to testify for him, to forcing his wife to keep campaigning even though she was just shot at by a random person and finally, the “October Surprise” at the end of season 2.

Why would she let him walk all over her!? I loved that in season 1 she was portrayed as this strong woman who tried her best to provide for her daughter. (it’s not like they were struggling. I mean, they lived in a penthouse and basically had a butler.)

I hope that in season 3 we will see a more independent Hermione in her role as mayor. Sure, it’s not like she will stop helping her husband’s dirty deals. My wish is that she have more power both regarding her job and her marriage.

Cheryl’s Redemption

Cheryl has been a bully for all of season 1 and 2. She was treated people horribly and I understand she is angry, that her family is a fucking nightmare and her mother as oppressed her and her sexuality for the longest time.


Suddenly coming out as bisexual does not redeem her from her actions. I am thrilled she is finally free of the toxic influence of her horrible mother and murderous father. She is finally able to be who she really is.

She has been a nightmare for the longest time and it’s time she owns up to the terrible things she did.

That being said, I hope season 3 will entail, as Andy Samberg adorably put his, an apology tour.

Aaaand that’s it! There are soooooo many other things I am mad about. But I don’t have the time to dive into that.

What are Riverdale things that make you mad? Do you think they should have used the word “abortion”? And what about Cheryl?

Tweet at me, find me on tumblr or send me an email! Let’s chat!