Hollywood Phonies’ Awards And Racist Homophobes in Chief

4:56 PM

I’m joking, of course.

I’ve been obsessed with The Lonely Island in these past couple of days and “Threw It On the Ground” is hilarious. So that’s where “Hollywood Phonies” comes from.

The other part of the title refers to the fucking morons we might elect tonight.

I’m writing this part at 5PM so nothing has happened yet. I voted. I took my grandparents to vote (after making sure they were not voting for the Right).

Anyway, I’ll be updating this post as we go through, both talking about The Oscars and the results of our political elections.

If you’re new to Italian politics, I wrote a post about them a couple of days ago and you an read it here!

I already gave this post a title: “Hollywood Phonies’ Awards And Racist Homophobes in Chief”. Let’s hope I’m wrong.

11:29 PM

2018-03-04 (1)The First exit polls are rolling in. Shit is looking bad. I’m drinking ginger and turmeric tea and I have a bag of cheese crackers in the cupboard if I’m really desperate at 3AM.

We have this journalist, Enrico Mentana, who does TV Marathons for big elections or events. He did it for Brexit, for the 2016 Presidential Election, last year referendum and more. He stays up all night, talking to the guests in the studio, talking to the other journalists in the field and getting angry with the direction team. The correspondents are never ready, there are mistakes in the graphs. Then after a while, the guests start to leave, the camera shots are shaky and always late.

There are so many memes about him and this #MaratonaMentana and it’s hilarious.

00:48 AM

I’m falling asleep. The 5 star movement might actually win. Ew.

I saw Chelsea Peretti on the Red Carpet.

02:04 AM

I’m going to bed. This is a nightmare.

The Oscars have just started but the early results of the election made me sick to my stomach.

09:29 AM

I woke up half an hour ago and immediately yelled to my mom:

“Who won the election?!”

“Salvini and 5 Stars Movement”

And with my lovely and adorable colourful language I screamed:

“What the fuck? Are you fucking joking?”

Then I immediately felt super ashamed of my country and felt the need of hiding somewhere and watching Brooklyn Nine Nine to cheer up.

On a more positive note, Congratulations to all the Oscars winners, especially Jordan Peele. Congrats to Emily V Gordon and Kumail Nanjiani and to Gary Oldman for winning Best Actor.

(I had a huge crush on Gary Oldman when he played Sirius Black in the Harry Potter films)

So now we have some sort of “hung government”. We have two winners! Only in our idiotic and stupid country, we could have two winners in a election. The President of the Republic has to decide who to give the task to form the next government to. It’s a mess.

10.30 AM

He has just announced that he’s been “marathoning” for 12 straight hours!!! Unbelievable! With Trump, he had stopped at 11!

12.03 PM

People are resigning, others are arrogantly gloating and the country is broken. They have just created a new election reform and now we’re in deep shit.

Brooklyn Nine Nine marathon… here I come! Help me forget this nonsense.

I’m going to study now. It’s been a hell of a night. Let’s hope we’ll go voting again or that they’ll form some sort of coalition or whatever so they can stop the racists from taking over our government.



18:09 PM

I’ve already posted this and I thought I was done with this but my friend just texted me saying the Marathon is still going on! He had a break for probably a couple of hours and then came back on TV!

I opened up my cheese crackers and I’m eating my feelings. Damn, it’s depressing. It feels like the 2016 Election Night all over again.

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