On Wednesday, I had the worst day.
It was really bad.
Weirdly enough, mentally, I was almost ok. But let’s start from the beginning: I emailed a few of my university professor in order to get the materials to study for my exams and so I had to go to Uni and actually talk to them. I need to do at least 2 exams this year or my mom will have a heart attack and I will have to explain to people why I didn’t, so in order to avoid all of this lying and unnecessary stress, I’m doing this. Even if it devastates me.
Anyway, I knew that if I didn’t have anyone pushing me to go talks to the professors, I wouldn’t have gone. But I did.
To summon everything up, my friend arrived late to pick me up and we missed out train. So we arrived in Venice late and therefore I got to the building where the professor was holding meetings late and I spent an hour waiting. Then we went back to the station and guess what? We missed the train AGAIN because my friend was again LATE.
But I held it. I didn’t say anything, I stayed calm. Even though this caused me to be late again, I ate in a haste and then I went to tutor some kids. For almost four hours. With an excruciatingly painful headache.
I’ve been suffering from terrible headaches recently. Like this one, they start at midday, I can’t concentrate and even moving ONE muscle feels like nails drilling into my brain.
I really kept my cool, not a scrap of makeup on my face and kept on smiling. But the real question is: how can you miss two trains in the span of 5 hours. Please tell me. I repeatedly told her I had a full day and no time to waste. I had to go back the next day and I sooooooo didn’t tell her that I was. I was truly upset.
I hadn’t slept very well the night before. I was so scared about going to Venice and dealing with all of that university stuff. I’ve been doing a little bit better, studying for my driving license exam and opening the uni website without having a panic attack. So, of course, I took this opportunity for actually getting things done.
Franky, I don’t know what’s been going on with me. Some days are awful. Some are better. This week it’s been good. The last one wasn’t. I sat on my bed crying for a while, feeling too frightened to even get out of the house.
Tomorrow is Easter. The family will gather both on Sunday and on Monday. This means questions, scrutiny and a lot of judgy looks. Let’s hope next week is going to be just as good at this one. Without the missed trains.
Have a nice weekend!