The Bachelorette Season 12

My opinions on the first episode of the 12th season of ABC’s “The Bachelorette”

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I knew about the hype of this show: Jimmy Kimmel talked a lot about it in his show, but I was never really interested in it.

My impression was of a stupid show with dumb people who think they can find “true love” on a national televised dating game.

Come on, America.

Recently, I started watching an amazing program called “unREAL”, a behind the scenes tv show about a tv show basically identical to the Bachelor.

My first question was: how can people watch this?

But it’s good. Trust me, it is VERY good.

I will not go into details about it ’cause I’m thinking of writing a post dedicated to “unREAL” but let’s just say that… people are horrible.

So, all of this brings me here: on the first episode of the 12th season of the Bachelorette.

Bear in mind: I know nothing about the show. NOTHING.

From what I can understand from the IMDb page, I had a 2.9 rating score, each season has 12 episodes and there is a host (just like on “unREAL”).

My opinions will be based on the 20-ish episodes of unREAL that I have seen and my basic human intelligence.

So, let’s begin.

Right from the start, there are 20 seconds of the Bachelorette (BTW, whose name is Jojo and she was a contestant in the last season of the Bachelor) sitting on a bench staring at the sky with a dreamy expression. EW.

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Jojo’s dreamy expression

After presenting a few contestants and their lives, the show actually began.  So, here are all the 26 suitors who will try to woo JoJo.

 

These are my impressions that I have written down as soon as they got out the car:

1st (Jordan) –  he made an impression on me. Very confident, smiley, funny. Liked him very much.

2nd (Derek) –  … nah

 

3rd (Grant) – brought up the bachelor Ben.

 

4th (James F)  …nah

 

5th (Robby): yellow cravat. So……. NO, Robby.

 

6th (Alex) : …nah

 

7th (Will): He came with clue cards… And messed up. Lame. NO.

 

8th (Chad) – the famous Chad! Everybody has been talking about him! And they say that he is basically a dick.

 

9th (Daniel) –  Got out of the car and said “Daaaamn”. Ok, we get the “Daaamn Daniel” joke, but NOPE. Hate him. NEXT!

 

10th (Ali) –  …nah

 

11th (James T.) – came of the car with a guitar. Nice song, goofy expressions… Liked him.

 

12th (John) – guy in kilt. Interesting.  Plus 1 point for the killer outfit. Minus 31843684434 points for the sexual comments.

 

13th (Nick) – guy dressed like Santa. REALLY?!?! COME ON AMERICA!!!

 

14th (Chase) – guy with weird mustache.

 

15th (Jake)  – the only thing he said: I’m an architect. Poor guy.

 

16th (Sal)  blue balls guy. N.A.H.

 

17th (Coley) lame real estate joke. Nah.

 

18th (Brandon) – A hipster!!! Honest guy. Liked him.

 

19th (James F.) – ohhhh!!! A bachelor superfan! LAME!

 

20th (Nick S.) – Did the splits and danced.

 

21st (Vinny) –  brought an actual toast to make a toast joke. LAME!!! NEXT!!!

 

22nd (Peter) – guy with a giant heart. NO! NO! NO! NO! PLEASE NO!

 

23rd (Evan) –  …nah

 

24th (Wells) – this guy brought an a cappella group… They were actually good, but C.O.M.E.  O.N.

 

25th (Christian) – motorcycle guy! Actually nice and confident! Like him.

 

26th (Luke) – GUY. ON. A. UNICORN.

 

I have learnt so much from this one episode.

This show is so so so SO TRASH!!! And I have seen the Eurovision Song Contest!!!

Another thing I have understood is that Chad is basically me: the viewer that hates everything and everyone. But what really got to me was how much he wanted to emphasise the utter hatred for this show. THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HERE?? Still, his comments towards the other guys were HILARIOUS!!!

 

Having seen “unREAL” and the shit that goes on that fake show, watching the real thing is just AMAZING.

I’ve been imagining what goes on behind the scenes and I have truly been wondering if it is as depicted on unREAL.

Let’s just say that if it is… The producers are doing a hell of a job.

 

So, I hope you liked my first impressions on the show. Tomorrow airs the season Finale so I will definitely avoid ALL SPOILERS!!!

 

Thanks for reading and let me know what you think about both The Bachelorette and if you have watched it “unREAL”.

 

 

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